Ok, so it’s exam time again. What dooes that mean: long nights in the library, studying theory after theory, preparing questions, drawing complex diagrams and trying to understand some weird definitions that you’ll more than likely never use again?!
Hah, no! Exam time means writing a thesis worth of status updates on your Facebook page, “organising” your study area so it’s nice and clean, giving yourself endless “study breaks” and competeting with your friends to see who is more fucked for SC402.
We also have to mention the usual “aaaahhhhhh man, I did nothing. I started studying at like 5:16am, drank 7 litres of red bull, fell asleep for 10 mins and woke up in a ditch in Sligo with Bono and a Unicorn there to help me get out. Got back with like 3 mins to the exam, no pens, no pants and no idea where I was sitting. Still nailed it though.”
Here’s are collection of 11 Banterful Things To Do During Your Exams.
1: Bring Log Tables
Bring them to exams that don’t need them! There’s nothing funnier than watching an already freaked out group of exam year students have a nervous breakdown as they hear you and you’re mates talking about how to read the log tables for question 6 on the paper.
Even better, outside the exam hall, pretend to forget your log tables and rush to your friends in a panic and ask if any of them have a spare set. When they hand their prepared “spare set” to you, hug them and then watch the wave of confusion and fear spread.
2: Make Cat Noises
While doing your exam, start making cat noises, then suddenly jump in shock and stare under your table and then behind you as if the cat is strolling along. Craic!
3: Make Mobile Phone Noises
Make mobile phone vibration sounds with your lips. Try make like a “Vuh” sound with your lips closed and then look around in disgust at someone you don’t like and sigh while the invigilator comes past.
4: Ask for More Paper
Ask for more paper every 15 minutes. Sure fire way to freak everyone out! “What the hell is she writing?!”
5: Start a Yawning Competition
Easy. It’s kinda like the game Bullshit, except it’s been especially adapted for an exam setting. Can be played with 2 or more people at any stage during the exam.
6: Ask To Go To The Toilet
And when the invigilator comes around and says “Yes”, just sit there, staring back at them, and piss yourself. (Via @The80sKid)
7: Ask For a Rubber
Then, after Mr. Examiner man walks all the way back up the top to get your annoying ass a rubber, simply reply to him, “Sorry, I meant a Johnny?! It’s grand don’t worry about it.” (Via @The80sKid)
Get a couple of your friends to pretend to have tourette’s syndrome. To make this easier, visit this site and get yourself a fake medical letter to confirm the fact. The sit back and hysterically ask eachother the answers to all the questions. No one can say a thing, or they’re racist!
9: Write in Calligraphy
Bring in some Calligraphy pens and a jar of ink and get cracking on having the most overly elaborate exam script ever! And by exam script, I mean, name, date and exam number. Pretty sure you won’t get more than that done in 2 hours of intense calligraphy. But it’ll look pretty?!
10: Clear Your Throat
Really slowly. Really loudly. Every 6 minutes.
11: Play “Funny Seat Game”
Make sure you sit down before the person in fron of you does, then simply hook your feet behind the back legs of their chair. When they go to sit down, keep dragging the chair back. They won’t be able to sit down!
To advance this, during the exam, use your feet again to start to turn their chair around to face completely sideways.Then inform the invigilator that you think they are cheating.
Anything else you can think of, then let us know!!
P.S – You looked pretty stupid trying to do the phone vibration thing. Best leave it to the pro’s. 😉