Dance Music To Be Banned After SHM Gig

Phoenix Park Swedish House MafiaA report into the findings of the incidents that took place in the Phoenix Park during the Swedish House Mafia concert, has opened up the serious possibility that the playing and listening of dance music itself will be banned in the coming months.

The ban will extend to radio stations, TV, events, live gigs and personal media devices and promoters, broadcasters or individual users who break this ban, will face a 5 year prison sentence and €50,000 fine.

 

The report, published today by Commissioner Callinan, made findings that up beat music, that is electronic in nature causes over stimulation to the aural senses and can have detrimental effects on physical behaviour, including “swaying”, “bopping”, “gyrating” and can lead to involuntary stabbing motions towards others.

 

The report concluded that the single biggest contributing factor to the incidents that occurred on the 7th of July in the Phoenix Park was in fact dance music. The report makes suggestions towards looking at the possibility in the future of banning all music as Commissioner Callinan stated “To date, there has never been a stabbing incident in events run for deaf people. The research shows that sounds, particularly music has a direct correlation with antisocial and public order offences and that needs to be taken into consideration.”

 

The commissioner has also called out to wealthy Irish billionaires to become rogue vigilantes who fight crime under the cover of darkness and symbolise much needed hope for society.

 

Commenting that “after seeing the Dark Knight Rises, I think it’s apparent that all stakeholders and agencies involved in the planning and implementation of these large scale music events lobby for the creation and development of a crime fighting hero, who wears a cape and has technological superior equipment to everyone.”

 

Commissioner Callinan criticised wealthy Irish individuals for not setting up an applied science division within their companies and heavily investing in crime fighting equipment, which could have saved the lives and the injuries of many event goers on the 7th of July.

 

MCD are also calling for an independent report into the exact reasons why dance music causes people to go clinically insane and engage in fatal anti social behaviour.

 

To date, no one has bothered to ask Diageo anything.

Comments

comments

Filed in: College, Entertainment, Politics

You might like:

Fadia Harpenter’s Essential Guide To Thailand! Fadia Harpenter’s Essential Guide To Thailand!
7 Entirely Irish Things Only 80s Kids Can Relate To! 7 Entirely Irish Things Only 80s Kids Can Relate To!
SHOCKING: Couple Were Illegally Tortured For Over 20 Hours By Their Married Friends SHOCKING: Couple Were Illegally Tortured For Over 20 Hours By Their Married Friends
Dun Laoghaire Man Saved On Bin Charges By Living In Filth Dun Laoghaire Man Saved On Bin Charges By Living In Filth

Leave a Reply

Submit Comment

© 2019 The Potato. All rights reserved. XHTML / CSS Valid.
Proudly designed by Theme Junkie.