Poor social interactions, obsessions, odd speech patterns, peculiar mannerisms, few facial expressions, difficulty reading the body language of others, might engage in obsessive routines and display an unusual sensitivity to sensory stimuli, motor delays, clumsiness, limited interests, and peculiar preoccupations are just some of the observation one can make about someone using an iPhone.
The iPhone has been hailed as a revolutionary and visionary piece of technology, that is supposed to make the world a better place and connect people in new and exciting ways.
But new research coming out has suggested the exact opposite and if you’re in fact reading this on an iPhone you’ve just proved our case.
iPhone usage is now separating people at an alarming rate. People are no longer engaging in face to face social interactions. Communications skills are falling and more and more people are simply becoming ignorant dicks.
iPhone usage is actually spreading Asperger’s Syndrome at exponentional rates. Aspire, The Asperger Syndrome Association of Ireland give the following indicators of Asperger’s Syndrome:
Poor social interactions, obsessions, odd speech patterns, peculiar mannerisms, few facial expressions, difficulty reading the body language of others, might engage in obsessive routines and display an unusual sensitivity to sensory stimuli, motor delays, clumsiness, limited interests, and peculiar preoccupation
What’s The Cause?
Computer Science graduates who program iPhones.
As is a common fact, most computer science students have zero social or interpersonal skills. They use technology as a crutch and innovate solutions to avoid dealing with the public, friends (ha, like they have them) and family. They build a life through computers and that has in turn spread to the wider population.
We have inherited their social awkwardness and now have replaced human interaction with Apps, Smart Phones, Self Check Out Tills and Online Shops.
What Can I Do?
To check if you have Asperger’s you can use this clinically unproven check-list as a starting point.
- When sitting with friends, do you spend more time looking through your phone than speaking with them?
- When looking for directions, do you ask a human, or Google maps?
- Do you use your phone to bank, purchase songs, masturbate, book tickets or check the weather?
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