A few weeks ago was yet another referendum, this time for children’s rights. And like in other referendums, the only county to vote against it was Donegal…. Or as it will be known in 2014, The Catholic Republic of Donegal (CRD). It seems the idea of children having rights was the last straw for these weather-worn patriots. “It’s bad enough women wanting equal rights, but children? What next? The gays?” barked a Donegal local.
Donegal, which comes from the Irish, Dún na Gall, which means Stronghold of the foreigners (a reference to the Vikings who founded the town) will be changed to Dún o gall which means Stronghold from the foreigners, a reference to the foreign policy of the fledgling nation. A preliminary government has been set up to help make the transition to independence. “We will deal with the problems facing our people the Donegal way. We have high unemployment, so we’ll create jobs, by banning non-nationals from the country.” Said one CRD minister.
The new republic plans to get out of the economic recession by making all pubs state-owned. “Our new currency will be the Irish Pint. People will get paid in pints and it’ll cut out the middle man.” Says Seamus Murtaigh, soon to be CRD Minister of Finance.
Other laws will include Divorce and Homosexuality becoming illegal again (Anyone over the age of 23 and not married will be considered gay.) Children between the ages of 12 and 18 will be sent to prison each day after school. “Since all young people are thugs and drug dealers” said an official report.
The new manifesto will be available to download in English, Irish and Donegalese – the state language (which is a mixture between Irish and gibberish).
So, do you support the move by the rogue county? Let us know on our poll below.
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