About The Company
The Vatican is a backward thinking, male dominated cult operating in it’s own independent state. It uses the latest edition of the Bible to inform decisions about modern day life and is a global market leader in the religion industry.
The Vatican is mainly involved with selling Catholicism on a worldwide scale, even though they don’t really use it themselves.
The Vatican are currently seeking someone who can lead their organisation into future, by using outdated ideals from the past.
The ideal candidate will have many years experience believing in imaginary 3 in 1 Gods. They must also be white, a man and must also display strong sexist tendencies. Being in a Hitler Youth Group will be a distinct advantage.
Being very old and hard to understand when making public appearances, will also be a benefit.
- To make incredibly boring speeches to loyal, unquestioning followers of the faith.
- To act as the world’s largest cult leader.
- To wear silly hats in public.
- Ensure that condoms and other forms of protection are banned so AIDS and other sexual transmitted diseases ravage through the Third World.
- Must be willing to drive around in a ridiculous bullet proof car.
- Must be able to take money from elderly people.
- To strategically cover up criminal activity by your members, including but not limited to money laundering, Mafia involvement and sexual abuse cases.
- Drive profitability on a yearly basis and be able to report to Vatican shareholders ie – God, Jesus and The Holy Ghost.
Candidate who apply must be willing to travel on a regular basis.
- Candidate must be a man.
- Must be white.
- Must have delusion tendencies and hear voices on a regular basis.
- Must have a minimum of 5 years experience being sexist.
- Must have experience giving advice on issues they have no personal experience in.
Expenses: Travel and accomdation provided.
Location: Vatican City
To apply for this job, email god@TheVatican.com with a cover letter outlining why you think you’re the ideal candidate for the job.
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