About The Company
The Vatican is a backward thinking, male dominated cult operating in it’s own independent state. It uses the latest edition of the Bible to inform decisions about modern day life and is a global market leader in the religion industry.
The Vatican is mainly involved with selling Catholicism on a worldwide scale, even though they don’t really use it themselves.
The Role:
The Vatican are currently seeking someone who can lead their organisation into future, by using outdated ideals from the past.
The Person:
The ideal candidate will have many years experience believing in imaginary 3 in 1 Gods. They must also be white, a man and must also display strong sexist tendencies. Being in a Hitler Youth Group will be a distinct advantage.
Being very old and hard to understand when making public appearances, will also be a benefit.
Responsibilities
- To make incredibly boring speeches to loyal, unquestioning followers of the faith.
- To act as the world’s largest cult leader.
- To wear silly hats in public.
- Ensure that condoms and other forms of protection are banned so AIDS and other sexual transmitted diseases ravage through the Third World.
- Must be willing to drive around in a ridiculous bullet proof car.
- Must be able to take money from elderly people.
- To strategically cover up criminal activity by your members, including but not limited to money laundering, Mafia involvement and sexual abuse cases.
- Drive profitability on a yearly basis and be able to report to Vatican shareholders ie – God, Jesus and The Holy Ghost.
Candidate who apply must be willing to travel on a regular basis.
Requirements
- Candidate must be a man.
- Must be white.
- Must have delusion tendencies and hear voices on a regular basis.
- Must have a minimum of 5 years experience being sexist.
- Must have experience giving advice on issues they have no personal experience in.
Salary: Negotiable
Expenses: Travel and accomdation provided.
Location: Vatican City
Type: Permanent
To apply for this job, email god@TheVatican.com with a cover letter outlining why you think you’re the ideal candidate for the job.
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