It appears that a national outbreak of amnesia has been confirmed by scientists this afternoon, as recent polls show that Fianna Fáil are now topping the opinion polls.
Amnesia is a destructive neurological disorder, characterised by memory loss. It is mainly present in elderly people, but has been known to affect people of all ages. It affects both short term and long term memory and can leave people forgetting simple things like where they left their keys, or more important life events and family members.
John Leary from the research team that confirmed the outbreak commented earlier:
“This survey is a worrying sign. At first we just thought that people we fucking idiots – but now it appears that it is in fact a spread of the neurological disorder. It makes more sense, as the idea of people supporting the party that have lead to massive unemployment, increases in taxes and paying back unsecured bondholders just didnt make any rational sense.”
For those of you who do not actually remember, Fianna Fáil were the political party that decided to give a blanket guarantee to all the Irish financial institutions – meaning that the ordinary Irish person must pay for the risky moves by incredibly wealthy foreign individuals.
Fianna Fáil also didn’t let capitalism work. Either deliberately socialising losses, or they simply didn’t hold the intellectual capacity to read the first chapter of any basic economics book.
A national emergency response will be developed during the week to address and try to contain the issue. If you or anyone you know has been affected by the issue, search through the archives on most news outlets from the 2007-2009 period.
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