Whoever is elected Pope has some challenges ahead. But, how can he make mass cool? How can he appeal to a new generation of potential believers, in a digital, technology driven environment?
Here are some suggestions.
1: BYOB
Mass where you can bring your own beer? I want to go already. And what’s better, unlike any other establishment that offers this, the church is the only one that can bless it and make your 8 cans of Bavaria part of Jesus himself. #NoHangoversFromBlessedBooze.
2: Silent Mass
It’s the exact same as a silent disco, only this time, it’s in mass form! 2 priests on either side of the alter, banging out the best in deep house gospel, or electronic letters from the Corinthians. #bestnightofmassever
3: Competitions
Why not do what many clubs do and run competitions? They could offer a large bottle of win, mixers and a table for you and 5 of your best friends for this Sunday’s Service.
4: Vampires
There is a cannibalistic element to mass already, so why not incorporate vampires too. Everyone one knows that adding in vampires to anything, automatically increases it’s global popularity and chances of success.
Adam and Eve could be like the Twilight people and Jesus could be Harry Potter, here to save the day from the evil Megatron, who has taken over the Elephant Graveyard and is planning on destroying Zion.
5: Picture This
image: facebook.com/partysnaps
Get a photographer in to take some snaps of you and your mates in mass, that they can then upload to God’s Facebook page and people can tag themselves in it. Very nightclub like, but it’s what the people want and it will ensure that people dress up nice for the big day. “John tagged you in 4 photo’s at Mass ”
#EmbarrasingIrishMassPhotos
6: Hire Celebrities
Hire some of the cast of Tallafornia, or Geordie Shore to make guest appearances at mass. They could take pictures with the congregation, hand out some holy communion or even do a guest gospel spot. And, their loyal fans are the ones who need salvation the most.
7: Fr. Ted
Why this hasn’t been done before, I’ll never know. Either read out scripture from the series – “A reading from the Book of Ted to the Doogles” – Or, just listen to the people of the world and elect him Pope. #TopBloke
8: Hire Keith Barry
And let him make some mad shit happen. He could make chairs levitate, speak to dead people and read minds. He could convince the entire congregation that the devil is real and that is a sure fire way to get people coming back week after week. #RepeatBusiness
9: Make Mass Saucey
Such an easy way to get people back in the door. Offer some dip with the Eucharist. “Body of Christ – and would you like some Reggae Raggae or Peri Peri to go with that?”
Would really add a lot to a bland serving.
10: Social Media Mass
The people want Mass 2.0. An interactive event that is driven by social media and hand held technology. Have the priest live tweet from the pulpit, responses to prayers would be in the form of ReTweets and shares. Offering each other the sign of peace would be a friend request or follow back.
Replace the stations of the cross with QR codes that would link to interactive videos online and turn the bible into an multi-leveled platform game for iPhone and iPad, that would be similar to Temple Run, in that Jesus could be running from the Devil, but anytime you died, you would have to wait 3 days before you could play again.
Entertaining and informative.
