Berlusconi To Serve Sentence in Female Prison

ITALY POLITICS GOVERNMENT

Yesterday, Italian ex-prime minister Silvio Berlusconi was handed down a one year sentence for his part in the Wire-trap Scandal. It has since emerged that Berlusconi’s legal team lodged a concern that their client would be at a dangerous level of risk being a politician in prison.

The prison ethical code demands that a hierarchy exists between inmates. This generally means that criminals who were involved in ganglands feuds and shootings have a higher status than those who committed sexual offences.

Order

Ergo Berlusconi being an ex politician would rank lowest in the prison pecking order and would be subjected to constant torment as everyone’s moral inferior.

It has been now argued by Berlusconi’s team that it could constitute a breach of Berlusconi’s human rights to subject him to just biased and constant persecution.

Extensive medical testing has amazingly confirmed that the ex-prime minister is indeed human and all had seemed lost in the quest to finally incarcerate a politician until Berlusconi himself suggested that he would be willing to serve his term in a female minimum security prison. He noted that he had personally done research into the prison and believed that the nurturing female environment would encourage him in his rehabilitation.

Education

Going even further Berlusconi said he would even consider giving private group lectures and workshops to the prisoners in order to pass on his huge life experience and help them in their quest to become useful Italian citizens on their release.

Having heard his extremely passionate argument in favor of the female prison the courts have decided to allow Mr. Berlusconi to carry out his sentence at ‘Stabilimento of San Gimignano‘ female prison.

For his part Berlusconi stated that he thought the decision was extremely fair and that in order to regain the Italian people’s confidence he would carry out the sentence in it’s entirety. Our translator told us he stated that, “I look forward to growing as a person within the prison and would like the ladies to call me by my nickname ‘Big Silvo’ so they can feel more at ease with me.”

Though Berlusconi’s legal team have stated that they will lodge an appeal for the sentence, Berlusconi himself has already started organizing his “Freedom Bunga Bunga Party” in a year’s time.

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