George Gives A Right Hook To The Kidney

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Radio broadcaster and rugby pundit George Hook aka “Hookie” has been named as Declan Kidney’s successor for the top job in Irish rugby.

IRFU chief Philip Browne last night announced from the organisation’s headquarters on Lansdowne Road, that due to Kidney’s plummeting fortunes with the team since their Grand Slam victory in 2009 and most recently a disastrous RBS 6 Nations campaign, he was left with little choice but appoint Hook to the position.

Hook, a former fellow Corkonian, who renounced his Lee-side birth right to become a citizen of “leafy Foxrock”, South Dublin was said to be delighted at the announcement.

It is no secret that the former Connacht and USA Eagles coach has been leading a campaign for some time now to oust “Deccie” from his position, unashamedly named “He’s a Culchie Get Him out of There”. However even Hook himself seemed a little surprised by his own selection as he stated that he was “sure it was going to be Bernard “Fester” Jackman”.

Declan Kidney was not available to comment this morning from the Ireland team’s camp in Carton House. However sources close to the usurped coach are confident he will resume his role as a maths teacher in Presentation Brothers College Cork in time for the junior cert mocks.

The only question that now remains, is how Hookie will fair against an angry French team? Expect to see Lenehan, Willie John McBride and even the great Jackie Kyle donning the green for one more battle.

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