Today, on Mothering Sunday, Fidelma Fanning (65) of Ardee, Co Louth used a Mother’s Day carvery lunch at the Carrickdale hotel to express her deep disappointment in how her children are living their lives.
Her eldest son Gary (40) explains “We took Mam out for Mother’s Day lunch to somewhere we thought she’d like but as soon as we arrived, the judgement began. Mam started with the traditional ‘You could have at least shaved’ before telling Gary’s wife Niamh ‘I’m not sure they’ll let you in wearing jeans’. ”
As they left the house Fidelma stated “I’m not sure we’re all going to fit in that tiny car of yours”, before going on to criticise Gary’s driving and the lack of satellite navigation in the car.
Once at the hotel, Gary had a surprise waiting for Fidelma in the form of his brother James (34) who had flown in from Brighton. Fidelma’s initial joy was tempered when she realised James had brought his flat mate Eric with him.
“It would have been nicer if he’d just come on his own and I could have had a proper chat with him. I don’t know why he has to bring that guy with him everywhere. They seem to be joined at the hip. It’s not right at his age. How’s he going to find a wife with that fella with him all the time?”.
Daughter Ciara (36) also attended the lunch with her husband and children much to Fidelma’s dismay.
“Ciara could have done anything with her life. She was always the bright one. She could have become a lawyer or a doctor. She had the points to get into Trinity, but instead she chose to marry that scumbag from Dublin. Look at her now, a housewife at 36 with wild kids and a husband who wouldn’t know a day’s work if it came up and kicked him in the hole. When I think of all the money I spent on grinds.”
After an awkward one hour lunch where Fidelma complained that her beef diner was too dry, asking who had gone to mass that morning and repeatedly saying to Ciara “Are you going to do something about those kids or am I going to have to put manners on them?”, the hotel staff brought out a cake with “Happy Mother’s Day Fidelma” on it.
Fidelma refused to try the cake stating “Sure you all know I’m doing the points for weight watchers. I won’t be having any of that now thanks. Give it to kids later. Mind you I think they’re hyped up enough already Ciara”.
As Gary went to pay the bill, Fidelma announced “I’ll pay for this. I don’t want you going to any trouble. And besides Gary, you can’t afford to be doing this. Not on what you earn”.
Discussions on who would be taking Fidelma for Christmas this year are still at the early stages but Ciara has already mentioned that “We might go away this year”.