Men Abandon Cars On Way Home As Off The Ball Team Resign

103031-motorways-owners-to-return-for-abandoned-cars

Cars across the nation were abandoned by bewildered, mainly male sports fans, where they stood Monday night as the realisation that Newstalk’s evening sports show Off The Ball has been ditched en masse by its staff to the assumedly malevolent control of Newstalk’s remaining sport journalists.

When asked if he might intervene to reunite the award winning team, reconciliation svengali Nelson Mandela was quoted as saying:

“I’m afraid I’m taking preposterously late retirement. Forging together the remnants of the apartheid regime with the emerging black electorate of South Africa was one thing, but getting Robbie back in Take That was the marquee achievement I wanted to go out on.”

This must surely come as a blow to Newstalk but as a massive boost for the RTE answer to Off The Ball: “Balltouch” which has been described by media commentators as a “shocking waste of whichever RTE hack they wedge into it… probably Des Cahill.”

The Dennis O’Brien owned radio station has seen resignations from several employees over the years including Sam Smith and Eamonn Dunphy but the resignation of effectively an entire show is surely a sign that-

 (opens pre-emptive threat letter from Mr O’Brien’s legal ninjas)

…his is a strategy bathed in the benevolence of his beautiful soul and his brilliance is matched only by his hauntingly erotic odour. Enough?

Best of luck to the OTB class of 2013, seize the carp.

The Toner of Leek

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