Employees in the accounting department of Ferguson Insurance today vented their frustration at the fact that their colleague Carol just won’t shut the fuck up and do things for herself.
Accounts Clerk Peter Halpin describes the situation;
“For the last few days, there’s been an extra few people in the office while another room is painted. Carol started her whining by saying ‘Is anyone else too warm?’. She then started into a mantra of ‘I think it’s stuffy in here. Does anyone else think it’s stuffy?’. In this case it was a bit warm, but still, I was grand and I wasn’t going to agree with her. I’m tired of her passive-aggressive bullshit. If she wants the window open, she can get up off her fat fuckin hole and do it herself. I’m not her slave”.
Senior Accountant, Lisa Downing agreed,
“She’s an absolute pain in the arse. She carries on like lady fucking muck, expecting people to run around after her just because she whinges out loud. The ‘stuffy’ thing is just the tip of the iceberg. Last week, she kept saying ‘I could really murder a cup of tea’ or ‘Ugh…I’m so parched’. Not once did she get up to make tea. Not once. I went and got a cup myself but I sure as hell didn’t make her one. You should have seen the look on her face!”
When confronted by The Potato about her behaviour, Carol was unrepentant.
“When I’m at home, I only have to mention that I’d like something and my Gerry goes and gets it for me. He knows how to look after me. He’s a doormat and he knows his place. It’s taken me 5 years to mould him into the soulless lap dog that he is and I’m not about to stop now. I’ll wear these people down. I’ll sap any resistance they have and soon they’ll be bringing me tea on a silver platter. Just you wait and see. They’ll break before I do because I’m a 24 carrot bitch”.
Carol’s line manger was unavailable for comment as she was on long-term medical leave.
