A UCD Commerce student has taken multiple breaks during her day studying in the library. Michelle Weston, started the day early, by getting to the library before 9am, to ensure she got a seat by the window so she could perv on the lads coming in.
She also got there early to give the impression that she is a dedicated, motivated student, better than her friends, when in actual fact, she has habitual “work avoidance” tendencies that are going to severely hold her back in life.
After finding the ideal place, she stacked her books and notepads tidily and thought it time for her morning coffee. After a 20 minute queue she met some friends and told them about how she has been here really early and plans to study for the entire day.
Upon return to her seat, Michelle, rather than begin work, decided to “check in” to the library on Facebook and post an update complaining about how stressed she is with all she work she has to do. The following 30 minutes were then spent responding to comments on her status update.
Michelle then thought it wise to create a study plan for the day and spent the rest of the morning creating a colour coded time table, together with study objectives and goals. This brought her up to 12:30 and so time for lunch. Obviously.
After a prolonged 2 hour lunch, chatting with friends about how early she was in the library and how much she has done, Michelle returned to her seat, only to remember she can’t start back until she gets her afternoon coffee.
30 minutes later and it’s time to search for and download past exam papers, because there is no point in studying unless you have deciphered the topic selection algorithm used by the lecturers for setting exams.
This then brought her to 3:30 and so Michelle thought she’d clock off early, since she had done so much in the one day!
Although she hadn’t actually gone through any material she is still able to tell herself that she spent the entire day in the library. She has already prepared a long winded moan that she can use in front of her friends and parents, about “How wrecked she is after spending the entire day in the library.”
She will spend the rest of tomorrow preparing another response to her family and friends when she fails her exams miserably. Statements such as “But I spent hours in the library?!” and “That’s horseshit, the lecturer obviously hates me…” will be penned in preparation for when she gets her results.
Michelle will more than likely take tomorrow off, since her head’s melted after doing so much intense study today. And she deserves the break. She’ll have to deal with emigrating soon enough.