Mr Tayto got in touch about the newest feature to hit the park:
When I was a young spud, fresh out of the ground, I always dreamt of one day opening my very own park; full of all of my favourite things; good craic, good grub, adventure, nature, bloodshed, a few surprises and of course… you, the Tayto eaters of this great Nation!
In 2010 I got to fulfil that dream when I opened Tayto Park in Ashbourne, Co. Meath. In the three years it’s been open the park has been a roaring success But as you all know – a potato, like a shark, always needs to keep moving or it will die. So next summer to celebrate almost sixty years in the delicious crisp business I’ll be adding a very exciting addition to the Park which is designed to widen its appeal to adult Tayto fans.
Sandwiched between the Eagle Sky Adventure Zone and The Geronimo Thrill Zone, the Fear ag Rith Zone will allow those Tayto fans who are eighteen years and older to hunt and kill a man in the park’s woodland area.
Equally as appealing for stag and hen parties Fear ag Rith can also work as a team-building exercise for our corporate clients. After all what brings the office together more than tracking a man through dense undergrowth and then ritually disembowelling him? Well maybe enjoying a table full of Tayto products afterwards!
Yes, the day can be rounded off with a bumper basket of all your favourites; choose from classic Cheese and Onion, old favourite Smokey Bacon or the new, vaguely-disgusting Tayto Cheese and Onion Chocolate! Those Irish grown potatoes, cooked in 100% sunflower oil until they’ve reached golden perfection will taste all the more scrumptious after you’ve spent the afternoon with your friends eviscerating another human being.
And who will you be hunting through Tayto Park’s lush woodlands? Ssshhhh…. that’s a secret as closely guarded as my special secret cheese & onion recipe*. Just relax, enjoy the thrill of the chase, the surge in endorphins that comes with the letting of another person’s blood and be safe in the knowledge that it’s only people who have wronged me over the years that will end up on the other end of your knife in my Park.
So whether you’re a fan of cheese & onion, salt & vinegar or the brutal butchering of a man you and your bloodthirsty friends have chased for miles before stringing up and gutting like some sort of wild animal remember…. at Tayto Park the top flavour is always FUN!
*(dextrose, MSG and cheese powder)
