Thatcher Dies After Falling From Roof

Thatcher DiesThe United Kingdom is in shock today with the news of the death of England’s first and only female roof thatcher. Elizabeth Berkley died early this morning when she fell from a roof whilst inspecting some work carried out on her cottage.

Mrs Berkley will always be remembered by the rich, who could afford thatched cottages, and they will remember all the fine work and effort she did keeping the rich nice and warm and secure.

However, she was so good at her job, providing roofing for the rich, that many other thatching businesses went bankrupt during the 80s. Robert Lentil is one of many people Mrs Berkley put out of a job.

“I won’t miss her at all. To some she’ll be remembered as a great woman who provided excellent service, but only to those who could afford it. The vast majority of people couldn’t afford what she was charging and suffered greatly for it”

Controversy

Her most famous incident was in Brighton in 1984, when upon trying to thatch the roof of a local hotel, the building exploded nearly killing her and her co-workers. She has denied responsibility and blamed the IRA (Irish Roofing Association) who were supposedly working nearby.

The funeral will take place within the week where her body will be laid to rest for a funeral pyre (her body will lay on a bed of straw and set alight). Many people are in favour of the pyre idea but think she should be tied to a wooden stake which would be vertically stood in a massive straw bonfire.

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6 Responses to "Thatcher Dies After Falling From Roof"

  1. David O'Neill says:

    Ooops: “but only to those who good afford it”

    Excellent stuff, loved the Irish Roofing Association bit especially. :)

  2. Ash Smith says:

    Ooppss again: “week were her body” should be “where”. Your checking is as good as any bbc.co.uk news story. IRA. Brilliant.

  3. Hughie says:

    Hahahahaaa. Waaaay too funny!

  4. Sammi says:

    This is hilarious! Gonna read it with my class tomorrow!

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