IRE v ENG: Winner Gets 6 Counties For Keepzies

ireland v england 2013As if tonight’s international match between England and The Republic of Ireland was not going to be competitive enough, it appears now that the winners of this evening’s game will be awarded the 6 Northern Irish counties as well. For keepzies.

Both the Dáil and the British Parliament rushed through emergency legislation late last night to give the game the legal framework it needed and finally, after hundreds of years of conflict, there appears to be a peaceful solution on the table – once the British fans don’t go smashing up another stadium.

Both governments have agreed to surrender the 6 counties if they lose and many are hoping that this will add an even more electrifying atmosphere to tonight’s proceedings.

Recession

But internal confidential documents, obtained by The Potato, show that both governments want their respective teams to lose and this may lead to tonight’s match being one of the most boring encounters of the 2 sides ever.

The documents show that the governments are actually not in a financial position to maintain the 6 counties. The British government have also been hit by the global recession and are looking for ways to cut back spending.

Their hope is that they can offload the 6 counties to the Republic and so cut their public expenditure bill. The Irish government don’t want the 6 counties either, as they don’t have the resources to keep an eye on a few childcare centres, let alone an additional 6 counties.

Neither government have ever been quite sure about how exactly to approach the entire issue of the 6 counties, so have instructed their national teams to throw tonight’s game, so they can finally but the headache of them to bed.

Kick off is at 8pm in Wembley stadium.

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5 Responses to "IRE v ENG: Winner Gets 6 Counties For Keepzies"

  1. Dennis says:

    Funniest thing I’ve seen in ages..

  2. Shane says:

    No take-backskies!

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