Homo Knacerous Species Discovered On Portmarnock Beach

portmarknock riots

Irish scientists may have made one of the most important discoveries of modern times after numerous prehuman beings were discovered on a north Dublin beach yesterday evening.

The new species was found yesterday on the sand at Portmarnock beach, by a small family that were there enjoying the nice weather. Little did they know the significance of what there were about to stumble upon.

Species

The new species has been classified as homo knacerous and is thought to be one of modern humans earliest ancestors. It is believed that this species may actually fit in the evolutionary period between Neanderthals and homo erectus – placing them about 2.5 million years away in evolutionary terms when compared with today’s humans.

Scientists discovered that the brains of the homo knacerous appeared to be much smaller than that of modern homo sapians. From this they were able to discern that the homo knacerous would have basic brain functioning, yet lack any of the higher intelligence that we would be familiar with today.

Lack

Social skills, reasoning, problem solving, empathy and general awareness of their surroundings would not be registered in their minds as their brains do not appear to have evolved a frontal lobe.

Behaviours common with the homo knacerous would mainly revolve around them being dicks, hence placing them in the homo erectus category.

Scientists will now begin studying the newly discovered pre-human beings, with a view to try an understand how and why they act in such dick like ways.

Some are already suggesting that homo sapians could not have evolved from this species as they appear to be so vastly different from modern day humans.

Many are claiming that this species would have died out several hundred thousand years ago, as evolution would have discovered it made a horrible mistake and would have corrected itself.

Either way, Irish scientists will begin work on the newly discovered homo knacerous, hopefully adding substantially to the body of knowledge about human evolution.

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