Unemployed Man Still Trapped In Bed After Earthquake

the potato

After the devastation of last nights earthquake on the eastern seaboard of Ireland, reports are emerging that one 29 year old unemployed man has been left trapped in his bed, unable to get out of it.

It was initially thought that a lack of structure and daily routine to the man’s life was preventing him from exiting his bed before 4pm, but what has been confirmed now by a team of researchers and scientists, is that it is in fact the earthquake that is trapping this one job seeker.

The earthquake hit late last night at around 4am, which coincides with the time the man in question was going to bed, after watching several late night reruns of Jerry Springer. 

The man’s room has been left covered in wreckage and rescue workers are considering the fact that there might be other living things buried under the old pizza boxes too – adding another layer of complexity to the emergency plans.

It’s not known yet how long he will be trapped in bed for, but rescue workers are not hopeful that he will emerge before late afternoon, commenting that it could be early evening before the unemployed man is seen.

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