The backward thinking Catholic Church have today launched a campaign of free vaccinations to help prevent the spread of homosexuality during the Dublin Pride Festival.
As is known, the church sees homosexuality as a disease and have taken steps to ensure that it is contained during this time of year where numerous infected people get together in large groups in Dublin.
The Church have commented that this year the strain of homosexuality is stronger than ever and causing them some concern, as many of those infected, choose to be afflicted with the disease. They claim that this irresponsible attitude and increased levels of exposure are a dangerous combination.
They are advising people with young children and the elderly to be extra precautions as they are the most vulnerable to infection.
The vaccinations will be available from numerous Bigotry Centres that the church has set up and they will come in the form of a suppository.
Speaking about the controversial campaign, Fr. Dick Short said:
It’s a dangerous and powerful infection that is harming many. I had a narrow escape last year when I was infected and some of the symptoms were very scary. My penis became suddenly struck with rigamortis and my blood pressure shot up. Luckily though a fellow priest came quickly and was able to lend a hand to aid my relieve and recovery.
The Dublin Pride Festival runs from the 21st of June to the 30th. Anyone who finds themselves displaying the symptoms of homosexuality is advised to engage with the festival as much as possible and avoid any prolonged exposure to the Catholic Church.