Exam Swats Killing People With Global Warming

Irish forest

In a shocking revelation, it appears that swats that ask for huge amounts of additional paper in their exams, are the single greatest threat to the  survival of our national forests – and in turn the Irish people themselves. 

Every year during exams, both leaving cert and junior cert students use up a massive amount of paper. But there are a growing number of swats in each exam centre that are using up to 10 times the amount of the average student.

This is placing massive pressure on Ireland’s paper production and forcing the government to tear down hundreds more trees each year to satisfy the demand. This process is also helping to disrupt many natural habitats for animals that live in the wilderness and some are claiming that swats could lead to 50% of Ireland’s woodland creatures going extinct within the next number of years.

Extinction

Not only are swats killing off some of Ireland’s native animals, they are also helping to directly contribute to global warming – potentially killing off the entire Irish population. When the trees are taken down, the country’s ability to absorb CO2 is greatly reduced and it moves one step closer to environmental annihilation.

The production of the paper is also extremely intensive and uses up a large amount of fossil fuels. Adding to the likelihood that they are going to kill us all.

This year alone it is estimated that an additional 20% of Ireland’s forests will have to be cut down to make way for the production of the extra answer booklets. Fluffy animals will be put out of their homes, dangerous toxins will be released into the atmosphere and we will all be verging on extinction.

Students are asked to think of the environment we all have to share when looking out for your own self interests during your exams. Writing additional material may make you feel better than everyone else, but you’re murdering squirrels and threatening the survival of the human race.

Don’t be a pleb.

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