Putin Attacks Rainbows To End Gay Propaganda In Russia

Rainbow

Russia’s stance on Gay ‘Propaganda’ is now widely known, but the levels to which the country’s President, Vladimir Putin, is going to in order to fight it, is only now being revealed.

Putin plans to declare war on the rainbow.

In a speech earlier today, President Putin and Minister of Defence Sergey Shoygu announced Russia’s plans to use weather modification technology to destroy rainbows, ‘the symbol of the gays’. “And in order to prevent rainbows, you must destroy rain clouds.” Spouted Shoygu in his speech.

The Science Bit

Rainbows are formed when light is reflected as it passes through water droplets. The light is split to show all the colours of the visible spectrum. This most commonly occurs just after a rain shower. Mist form waterfalls are another natural occurring source of the multi-coloured arcs.

Weather modification technology isn’t new and has been around since the 50’s. Cloud seeding is the most common used technique which is used in order to create rain clouds in areas of drought. Russia plans to do the opposite and use rockets to disperse water vapour forming in the sky before they can form rain clouds. The Chinese government used a similar technique during the Opening Ceremony of the Beijing games in 2008.

Famine

The suspected problem with the cloud breaking technology is that it will cause widespread drought in Russia and eventually lead to famine as crops fail to grow. Boris Kalashnikov, Professor of Ecology at the University of Moscow has publicised his support for the drastic measures, “The starvation of millions of citizens will be worth it if we rid ourselves of these gay people who ultimately undermine our entire society, even though what they do in their private lives don’t really affects us in anyway.”

Other ‘rainbow-causing’ devices will also be banned such as prisms, lens, CDs and bubbles as part of the on-going struggle against homosexuality, which is a unnatural act that has been recorded in over 1,500 species worldwide.

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