A survey taken of men in their mid to late twenties this afternoon has revealed that the large majority of them are planning on heading out tonight on a mid week session.
Men who worked in Dublin’s city centre showed a higher likelihood of going out, but those in commuter towns and rural areas also showed an increase probability of going out this evening at some stage.
The data also showed that men in their 30’s and above were planning on going out this evening too, but a larger proportion of the older group were going out on their own, as opposed to in groups.
The survey revealed that many groups of men have been using group chats on WhatsApp to finalise their plans, but none gave specific reasons on the survey as to why the sudden urge to socialise this evening.
Some respondents commented that “We’re just going out for a random pint” others said “It was Wednesday, we always go out on Wednesdays”.
Although the survey did not comprehensively reveal the exact reason why thousands of men are heading out tonight, research has suggested that it is to creep on 18 year old girls who will be out celebrating their leaving cert results.
Many of the men out this evening still hold emotional trauma from their own leaving cert results night, when they failed to score and wound up vomiting themselves to sleep. Alone. In a bush.
They’ll be hoping to overcome those issues and hope that being an older man in a suit will make them more attractive to those out.
For those other men out this evening without any real psychological issues, the evidence suggests that they are just dirty old perverts, out for an inappropriate creep.