Junior Infant Proposes Abolition of Senior Infants

ireland

There is upheaval in a Dublin primary school as a pupil in the junior class is seeking the abolition of the senior class. Eoin Kenny, described as a precocious little boy by his teacher Mrs Catherine Ireland, is calling for a school-wide vote on the issue, citing the senior class for “holding back” the activities of the juniors.

Mr Kenny explained: “In our school, the juniors and seniors are in the same classroom; usually Mrs Ireland gives one class work to do while she works with the other class. But the seniors always interrupt our class with questions and that, so it’s hard for us to get anything done. If we were in class by ourselves, we’d get a lot more done.”

Of course, the presence of the seniors also has consequences outside of the classroom according to Mr Kenny. “When we go out at lunchtime, Mrs Ireland says that the seniors are responsible for the whole junior and senior play-area; so if a junior kicks the ball out of our area, we have to wait for a senior to get the ball back to us. We get little enough play-time as it is, and waiting on seniors to bring a ball back to us is a waste.” Mr Kenny added, “And if we ever go get the ball ourselves, one of the seniors tells on us – it’s completely unfair.”

Outrage

For their part, the seniors consider the move for abolition to be ridiculous. A prominent member of the ‘No’ campaign, senior infant Dean Norris accused the juniors of “talking a load of poop out their bum-holes”. (Mrs Ireland sent Mr Norris to the naughty corner for the remark, but following an apology, the interview resumed.)

Mr Norris identified a number of flaws in the junior infants’ proposal: “Seniors do a lot of positive things that the juniors are ignoring; we help the juniors with their tasks, we even correct a lot of their homework – usually while they get to go play in the sandbox.” Although Mrs Ireland understands both sides of the issue, she had yet to make up her mind entirely. “The strangest thing about it,” she said, “is that a lot of the seniors are good friends of Mr Kenny – in fact, the two classes usually get on rather well.

In terms of disrupting work, if anything, I hear a lot more out of the juniors while the seniors tend to work away quietly. I’m sure the whole thing will work itself out – I mean, where else would the juniors go when they can’t be juniors anymore?” As the vote is being pushed school-wide, other classes are weighing in on the debate; mainly offering counter-proposals that both classes should be abolished. One sixth-class student said: “Every other class works the whole day, every day of the school year. Juniors and seniors might just about work half-days and they expect all the best treatment? It’s madness – we should abolish the both of them.” Both sides are firmly entrenched on the issue, which will only be resolved by the school-wide vote that is set to take place on October 4th.

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