The government has today launched its new nationwide campaign designed to get more unemployed people back to work.
Minister for Jobs, Enterprise and Innovation Richard Bruton launched today’s campaign that aims to get all unemployed people to sleep with CVs under their pillows, so that the Job Fairy can take them and find them work.
The government are basing the new strategy after careful social media research showed that the job fairy has been responsible for creating more jobs than any of the governments plans combined.
The government are now working closely with the job fairy to help address the huge employment crisis currently facing the country.
Speaking earlier Minister Bruton commented that:
We are committed to using every possible means at our disposal to help people find work and we’re delighted to be able to join forces with this ambitious fairy to help people get back on their feet. The job fairy has a fantastic record and we’re hoping to expand on her successes to date.
All unemployed people will be expected to engage in the program. Social Welfare payments may also be affected if someone isn’t actively placing their CVs under their pillows on a regular basis.
Spot checks will be used to enforce the new program that will see Minister for Social Protection Joan Burton sneaking into job seekers rooms while they sleep. She’ll be watching you for a few minutes at the end of your bed, before smelling your hair and checking for your CV.
This new development means that people who sleep a lot will be in a much more likely position to get a job in Ireland than those that send out CVs via traditional methods.