UN Leaders to Meet to Discuss Correct Pronunciation of Hezbollah

Hezbollah

Senior members of the United nations are to meet later today to discuss once and for all the correct pronunciation of Hezbollah. With the Islamic group in the news due to their involvement in the deepening Syrian crisis, political leaders and news agencies are looking to reach a consensus as to how to best pronounce the parties name during discussions and newscasts.

By Gerry Mc Bride

“We’re been using Hez-bow-la for years”, an undisclosed source close to the British Parliament said last night. “But the American diplomats are going with His-Bolla. We don’t want to look weak or foolish here, we want an agreement quickly so that we can all sit down and discuss what we can do for the Syrian people without sounding like idiots“.

While a consensus is badly needed to finally start discussions as to what can be done to stop the ever-worsening situation in the Middle East, it is believed that the Americans will offer very few concessions. “It’s always been His-Bolla for us”, said a Senior member of Fox News. “And all of our fellow News Stations are using His-Bolla too. We get our information from the Government, and in turn we pass that on to the people. If the Government row back on their stance on this issue, the backlash from News Corporations would be bad news for them come election time”.

While there are many other pronunciations available, it is believed that either the British or American suggestions will be the ones discussed the most. Rumours are swirling of a possible compromise involving a merging of the two styles, along the lines of His-Bow-La or possibly Hez-Bolla, or even a possible third pronunciation being tabled by Russia diplomats, believed to be HYSE-BURLAR.

Content: Gerry Mc Bride

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