Sales Of Fizzy Orange Surge 900%

tommy love/hate season 4

Shops around Ireland have today experienced a huge increase in demand for fizzy orange. Some outlets have reported a staggering 900% increase today when compared with previous daily averages.

It is believed that the increase comes from promotion of the drink during the first episode of Love/Hate, when a mentally incapacitated Tommy, asks for the beverage while in the back of a Garda vehicle.

Speaking to The Potato, the manager of Centra in Temple Bar commented on the spike in sales saying;

The demand has been crazy, we’ve gone through a month’s supply of orange in less than a day and I’ve already had to reorder stock to cope. I hadn’t a clue why so many people were buying it, but then it clicked with me when I caught a young man openly masturbating in one of the aisles in the shop. It’s because of Love/Hate.

Reports are coming in from all over the country that demand is incredibly high for the soft drink, along with the occurrences of people masturbating while purchasing the drink.

The increase in demand has also led to the Royal College of Physicians to place more pressure on government to introduce a tax on sugary drinks and it’s being reported that they may also suggest a tax on public masturbation too, after the recent number of incidents nationwide.

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