Take The Test: Do You Have A Problem With Drinking?

Do you have a problem with alcohol? With the budget coming out next week, numerous groups are calling on the government to increase the cost of alcohol and set a minimum price point to help curb the issue nationally. 

Is it time what we as a country faced up to the fact that we have a serious problem with drinking? Do you have a serious problem? To help answer that question, we have put a test in place that will help determine whether or not you may have an issue that needs to be addressed.

Questions:

1. Have you ever come home from a night out, so intoxicated that you mistake the hot-press for the bathroom and urinate all over your own, freshly cleaned clothes?
2. When you drink, do you ever wind up calling an ex early in the morning to aggressively vent and tell them your better off without them before crying yourself to sleep?
3. Do you make regular appearances on Embarrassing Irish Nightclub Photo’s Facebook page?
4. Have you ever used toilet bleach as a substitute for alcohol?
5. Have you spent more money on replacing lost phones in the last year because of being drunk, than you actually have on nights out?
6. Are you reading this while drinking?
7. Do you make responsible decisions to spend your children’s allowance on your own nights out while your child goes to school barefoot?
8. Do you find it hard to stick to a budget on a night out and often take out your laser card at 2am to buy everyone a round of Jager bombs, only to find out you’re drinking on your own, have to down them all by yourself and have no money left for food until the end of the month?
9. While intoxicated, have you ever conducted an entire conversation with a household pet or an inanimate object?
10. Do you often give yourself little pep talks while puking your ring up into the toilet?

Answers

How many did you answer yes to? And what does that say about you?

1-3: If you answered yes to between one and three of these test questions, then relax, you’re pretty much sober. Call a friend and go out for some drinks because they already think you’re the most boring person in the group.

3-6: You’re what society would call a “social-drinker”. You enjoy relaxing at the end of the week with a few glasses of gin and don’t mind the odd cry. You’re always up for a night out are on your 3rd phone this year and really support yourself emotionally when you’re getting sick at the end of the night.

6-10: If you scored on the higher end of the scale, then you are in fact “gas craic” and a bit of a local legend. Young people recount tales of your escapades and your co-workers admire your ability to show up to work after days of boozing. Your pets love you and unbeknownst to you, thousands of people online have seen you urinating at a bus stop – even your kids. You keep in touch with numerous people from your past and have a strong focus on getting others involved with the fun you’re having on a Tuesday night in the local park.

What does each question reveal about the type of person you are?

1. If you answered yes, then you have an over-active imagination and are an extremely creative person with an innate ability to visualise things that other people can’t.
2. You have a high EQ and don’t have a problem with expressing yourself.
3. If you answered yes, then congratulations, you’re famous. You have in fact won at life.
4. Using toilet bleach as a substitute for alcohol shows that you are a resourceful individual and a hands on problem solver. You’re not afraid to think outside the box and demonstrate a strong solution focused mindset.
5. Spending money on replacing lost phones shows that you value communication with others very highly in life and should be commended for doing so. It’s good to talk.
6. Good for you.
7. Ensuring that your children are neglected at your expense, while help them appreciate the important things in life. They won’t be bothered about the latest technology fad, they’ll just want shoes.
8. This shows that you’re a caring and giving individual, that even though you’re out alone, you’re thinking of the well being of others. You know money can’t buy happiness and act accordingly.
9. Talking with pets and inanimate objects helps to develop your own range of  communication skills and will help you improve your interpersonal abilities. This is important in finding and maintaining employment in an age where soft-skills can be even more important than hard ones.
10. Positive affirmations are hugely important for a person’s mental health and the fact that you are able to do so while intoxicated, shows a level of self respect and self esteem that not many people have. Go you.

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