23 year old Brian Caffrey has blamed “unfamiliar controller settings” for losing every single game of FIFA 14 over the weekend.
Brian was playing against his friends and lost every single game he played. He even lost 5-2 against York City, the worst club in the game, while he was Real Madrid.
The UCD student has said that the controller settings were the main reason for his continuous defeats and not the fact that he’s naturally terrible at the game, making him less of a man.
Brian spent most of the games he was playing pausing the matches for significant lengths of time, looking in the controller setting’s menu, to try and convince those he was with that it was an inherent problem with FIFA and not his chubby, stubborn fingers.
Brian claimed that he was used to the “Pro Evo” settings and was at an unfair advantage. But, after friends agreed to play Pro Evo, it became clear that Brian was just in fact absolute gack at everything involving sport.
Brian has decided to spend the rest of today watching YouTube tutorials on “How To Stop Sucking At FIFA” in a desperate attempt to regain some level of respect amongst his group of friends.
Although this will have to be done after he finishes writing open apologies on Facebook to his friends for being so bad at the game and praising them for their brilliance, as is in line with current FIFA Apology Rules.