Taoiseach Hopeful Santa Will Take On Unemployed In Workshop

Enda Kenny

Taoiseach Enda Kenny says he is hopeful that Santa Claus might take on young unemployed Irish tradespeople in his workshop over the busy Christmas period.

Speaking at the annual West of Ireland Barbers Awards Mr Kenny said

‘ It would be great if Santy would take on the young unemployed Irish in his Lapland workshop this Christmas, it would be great to get this lot out of the country…..I mean back to gainful employment’

‘I mean of all the job action plans we’ve come up with this is probably the only one that could actually work…it’s out of our hands though but fingers crossed’ added the Taoiseach

Mr Kenny also revealed that he is hoping for an Action Man this Christmas.

Naughty

Asked which members of his cabinet has been naughty or nice, the excited Taoiseach said:

‘Well obviously Lucinda hasn’t been great, she made a bit of a show of me this year so hopefully word has filtered back to the North Pole. James Riley always takes my lunch money at cabinet meetings the so I’d say he’s firmly on the naughty list. Phil Hogan gave me a wedgie back in June but I’d say he’ll just about sneak onto the nice list- by the skin of his teeth mind’

Reminiscing about childhood Christmases growing up in the West the Taoiseach said:

‘Ah Christmas was always great when I was a little girl growing up, sending our letters, and putting out the milk and biscuits for Santy and the reindeer. I saw him once..just his hat though but it was definitely him!’

Mr Kenny said he intends on making representations to Mr Claus with regards to taking on Irish staff in the coming weeks

The Taoiseach was being presented with an award by the Association of West of Ireland Barbers who were honouring the Taoiseach for services to hair and for bravely ‘maintaining the same hair style since the 1958’ and refusing to buck to modern trends in the face of so much hostility.

Words: Brian Moss

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