15 Things You Need to Know About Margaretta D’Arcy

Margaretta D'Arcy

Poet, Author, Director, Political Activist, Old woman… just who is this Margaretta D’Arcy that the internet loves so much this week?

by Gerry McBride

The 79 year old who was imprisoned by our stupid government for breaking one of their idiot laws has garnered much support from keyboard warriors who believe clicking “Like” on an I Support Margaretta D’Arcy Facebook page is on a par with a cancer-stricken septugenarian scaling a fence to stage a protest on the runway of Shannon airport against ‘American planes stopping off to re-fuel while on their way to bomb innocent civilians and transport people to Gitmo to torture the fuck out of  say hello.

Internet friends; the problem with jumping on a bandwagon is that you may not have all the information you need to fully discuss the cause you’re supporting this week, so we at The Potato have compiled this list of factual facts about the ‘boul Maragertta which you should totally bring up in conversation.

  1. Born in Nazi Germany, Margaretta was a member of the Hitler Youth until her fifth birthday.
  2. She played saxophone for The Commodores on their hit “Three Times A Lady”.
  3. In Vietnam, she was with the green berets special unit battalion commando airborne tactics specialist tactics unit battalion. It was real hush hush. Agent Orange, that was her name;Special Agent Orange, that was her.
  4. “John, I’d like you to meet a friend of mine, this is Yoko”; Margaretta D’Arcy, 1966.
  5. She is Ray D’Arcys Ma.
  6. Seeking a change of pace in 1980, Margaretta served her time as a plasterer in Macroom, Co. Cork
  7. Her time spent as an Israeli Commando has left her with considerable Krav Maga skillz.
  8. She fuckin loves Mars bars.
  9. “Look at her up there, getting that award. It’s a joke; Beyonces video was way better. You should say something, Kanye”; Margaretta D’Arcy, 2009
  10. She will ruin your shit on Tekken.
  11. She invented Margaritas.
  12. She once called Jim Corr “a bollox”.
  13. In 1972 she was sent to prison by a military court for a crime she didn’t commit. She promptly escaped from a maximum security stockade to the Los Angeles underground. Today, still wanted by the government, she survives as a soldier of fortune.
  14. She was the voice of Master Splinter on the original Teenage Mutant Turtles cartoon.
  15. For every dollar spent on Rice Krispies worldwide, Margaretta gets a dime.

 

MAKE MARGARETTA FREE BEFORE SHE KILLS AGAIN.

Image: Rasset.ie

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