Clamping In Dublin To Be Finally Banned In 2014

Dublin Clamping Banned

Dublin City Council have announced plans today that will result in clamping being prohibited in the city centre by the end of 2014. 

By Cormac Moore

The move comes after a review of the overall service proved that it was having a negative impact on the local economy and hindering any chances of a recovery.

A report carried out by the Dublin City Council found that clamping not only deterred people from travelling to the city, but also directly took much needed money out of the local economy through fines.

It was proven to be a contributing factor that led to lower than expected Xmas sales also.

Initiative

In line with the government’s overall job creation initiatives, it has been judged that a better use of consumer’s money would be if they spent directly in the economy, rather than lose it in fines. Clamping does not produce jobs, create any value or improve the country’s GDP.

The reduction in income from the clamping activities, will be offset by increases in VAT from local retailers and reduction in costs that the Dublin Street Parking Services incurs.

There will also be a significant reduction in healthcare costs for the state, as removing clamping will see a dramatic fall in the number of people submitted to A&E with severe stress related conditions.

Rates of strokes, brain embolisms and heart failure are all expected to fall, once the stress of clamping has finally been eradicated.

Local businesses are welcoming the move, saying it will give a real boost to the local economy, help stimulate job growth and leave people with more disposable income, which is crucial for any sort of economic recovery.

Dublin City Council are expected to remove all clamping by the end of 2014. Clampers themselves, who will lose their jobs because of the move, will be burned at the stake in a ceremonial ritual, because they have no souls.

Next: Pizza Delivery Chain Announce “Fuck It” Meal Deal

See: How Twitter Reacted To The Voice Of Ireland

Image: ChemicalOC Reddit

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