A librarian in the National College of Ireland, has today removed a student from the campus library, because apparently, she “didn’t have any sex over Christmas”, The Potato can exclusively reveal today.
Librarians are a peculiar bunch and research has proven that if they don’t engage in sexual activity over festive and holiday periods, they are known take out their frustrations on students and randomly remove them for no reason at all.
One such incident occurred today when a student was kicked out of the library, not because she was repeatedly being loud, agressive, incredibly disruptive, answering her phone in the middle of the library and not because she posed a significant risk to the health and safety of every single person in the library, but because the librarian, who is responsible for keeping the area quiet, didn’t have any sex over the Christmas.
The disgruntled student, who was “just trying to get an education”, albeit a very fucking loud one, is in the process of complaining about the incident.
Learning about the situation that happened today in NCI, the FM 104 Phone Show team, collectively masturbated each other and are preparing for tonight’s show, where the persecuted student is expected to come on and complain about the “lack of facilities” for her in the state of the art complex.
Librarians are being asked today to ensure that they engage in a sufficient amount of sex over holiday periods to ensure that situations like this don’t happen again and students are free to study, in a loud, dangerous and insanely annoying manner at the expense of others.