A 30 year old woman, Rebecca Quinn, from Portmarknock, North Dublin, who claimed recently that 2014 would be her year, has decided to put off making any positive life changes, while she comes to terms today with her crippling hangover.
By Cormac Moore
This sudden u-turn comes only days after the women promised herself that she would take steps towards a healthier lifestyle in the New Year. She claimed she “wouldn’t let anything get in the way” and would start to lead a more active lifestyle from January 1st.
Unfortunately, the only activity she has planned for today, is getting into her onesie and working her way through leftover selection boxes, tins of Roses and the Season 4 box set of Love/Hate.
A gin fuelled New Years eve has left the woman lacking the required mental clarity to make any significant changes to her daily routine. Any motivation she may have had, has since been replaced with a desperate hope for her hangover to subside.
Rebecca will wind up writing this entire week off and will actually binge eat on numerous occasions, because she’ll give herself a “fresh start” next Monday when “all the New Year’s stuff is outa the way.”.
The fresh start will result in her going to the gym once, then afterwards rewarding herself with a curry 3 in 1 from her local Chinese, because “she deserves it” after all her hard work.
Rebecca’s New Year’s resolutions will be completely redundant by January 15th, when her usual daily habits will have taken over yet again.
She’ll engage in the exact same pattern next year, because 2014 unfortunately won’t be her year it seems.