Local GAA Lad Cooks Dinner Using Fire In His Belly

Local GAA Lad from navan

A local GAA lad, from Navan O’Mahony’s, county Meath, cooked last night’s dinner for himself using nothing more than the fire in is belly.

By Cormac Moore

Podge McShinty’s gas and electricity were cut off recently after he quit his job to focus on his (completely unpaid) GAA career. His local Junior B side were back training 14 times a week and he just couldn’t commit to working and playing, so he made the difficult decision to cut of his means of everyday survival – much to the delight of the panel of selectors and local Navan heros.

It emerged later his company were planning on letting him go anyway, due to cut backs and complaints from other members of staff that they couldn’t hand his “manky Navan accent” in the work place any more. 

Strict

Podge’s diet is now based on strict meals that have been set down by the Junior B management. Last night’s meal included 14 chicken breasts, a head of broccoli, an entire bag of pasta and a bag rusty of nails, mixed with shards of glass.

All has to be eaten while sitting naked in a freezing cold bath and saying a decade of the Rosary.

Podge’s commitment and pride for his parish, resulted in him be able to use the fire in his belly to cook the meal. He swallowed the raw chicken, veg, nails and glass, then got to work on mustering up his passion that would internally cook the food inside his stomach.

Podge was unavailable to comment as he was busy getting ready for another “heavy training session”, where the entire panel were being airlifted to one of the most remote parts of Connemara. The first 15 to make it back alive will start the team’s challenge match against the girls u-16 side next week.

Next: Local GAA Junior C Player Not Going Out Tonight

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