Scientists Finally Prove Healthy Food Tastes Shite

Man and woman abs

An extensive study carried out by the Health Research Board has categorically confirmed that all healthy food does in fact taste like shite. 

By Cormac Moore

The 5 year project was carried out by a team of researchers that comprised of nutritional scientists, biochemists and psychologists, aiming to finally uncover what was the true cause of obesity and weight gain.

Many people thought that the leading causes for obesity were lack of exercise and emotional issues that led to overeating. Stress, self esteem and utter laziness were thought to be some of the main contributing factors to weight gain, but this new research dispels those myths.

Real Reason

The team concluded that the main cause for obesity, was the fact that healthy food is simply horrid and tastes absolutely rank.

The majority of people who took part in the study said they wanted to be healthy and look amazing, but couldn’t force feed themselves with disgusting, albeit, healthy food. People could only manage 2-3 days of torture before they would revert back to better tasting choices.

Not only did the healthy food prove to taste foul, but the research also showed that healthy food has also got incredibly unappealing names. 

Speaking on the issue Dr. Susan Byrne, head psychologist on the project said:

“The disgusting names for these healthy foods actually primes the mind to dislike them before having ever tasted them. Asparagus sounds like some sort of sexually contracted disease and chickpeas, when said allowed, sounds like you’re describing the bird urinating. What sound minded individual is going to put that in their mouth?

The team will be presenting their conclusive findings to the HSE next month and it is hoped that it will help people be more at ease with their weight problems, as it isn’t anything to do with their emotional attachments to food, or their binge eating patterns, or their chronic lack of exercise, it’s the fact that healthy food, does in fact taste like shite.

Next: Pizza Delivery Chain Announce “Fuck It” Meal Deal

Comments

comments

Filed in: Sci/Tech Tags: , , , , ,

You might like:

Fadia Harpenter’s Essential Guide To Thailand! Fadia Harpenter’s Essential Guide To Thailand!
Fadia Harpenter’s Dublin Diary | A Hard Heartbreaking Week Fadia Harpenter’s Dublin Diary | A Hard Heartbreaking Week
Official: Stoneybatter To Become Protected Hipster Reserve Official: Stoneybatter To Become Protected Hipster Reserve
Report: Woman ‘Really Stressed Out in Work’ Actually Does Sweet Fuck All Report: Woman ‘Really Stressed Out in Work’ Actually Does Sweet Fuck All

2 Responses to "Scientists Finally Prove Healthy Food Tastes Shite"

© 2019 The Potato. All rights reserved. XHTML / CSS Valid.
Proudly designed by Theme Junkie.