In light of the ever growing controversy surrounding the Garda Síochána Ombudsman Commission (GSOC), Taoiseach Enda Kenny has order the entire office space to be fumigated.
Reacting to information that bugs were found in GSOC, Kenny has set up a new state company, Pest in Peace, with the sole mandate of removing bugs and insects from government offices.
Already, €24 million has been spent on consultants, to try and determine what it is the best way to get rid of unwanted pests and insects that have infected official workspaces.
A task-force has been set up to determine whether taking your shoe off and stamping them out with the heel works better than using the hoover to kill them, but it is thought that a decision to spray large amounts of Lynx Africa into the offices will be decided upon as the best course of action.
The GSOC will be completely closed down until all bugs have been removed and until the new state company has overspent it’s budget by more than 100%.
Officials have welcomed the move to close the office and said “it couldn’t have come at a better time”, with such current controversies surrounding the Gardaí, whistle-blowers and Alan Shatter.
Readers are reminded that “Alan Shatter” is an anagram of “The Anal Star”.