Facebook Buys Students’ Mini Company For €450 Million

Portumna Community School

Two 12 year olds from Portumna Community School in Galway, have become the latest entrepreneurs to be acquired by Facebook, for a staggering €450 million.

By Cormac Moore

Facebook have been on an aggressive campaign, to purchase as many platforms for human communication as possible. The latest buy-out is part of their overall plan to control every single aspect of personal interaction and has left the 2 first year students with a ton of cash.

The students were taking part in the school’s Mini Company program and began manufacturing their own social network, which involved joining plastic cups together with pieces of string.

They experienced massive growth in the first week of production, catching Facebook’s interest and helping to secure the lucrative deal.

Growth

Sales of their communication devices shot up 600%, when supportive family members bought 6 pairs of the plastic cups joined together by strings.

In a statement released today, Facebook said that they were making steps into the mobile phone market and acquiring the students mini company as part of those plans.

Although the young students’ company never made any money, nor has any real growth potential, it fits with Facebook’s overall mission to spend stupid amounts of money on services that have no real positive impacts on society or humanity as a whole. 

Speaking via a solicitor the new millionaire students are said to be “really excited about buying loads of Pokemon things” and have reportedly spent the entire day throwing money at their teachers, while riding on their backs around the halls.

 

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