Brazil Blame Controller Settings For Germany Defeat

World cup semi final defeat to Germany

Brazil have issued a statement outlining that it was unfamiliar controller settings that was the main reason behind last night’s humiliating 7-1 defeat to Germany. 

By Cormac Moore

Brazil manager Luiz Felipe Scolari, better known to many as Gene Hackman, said that neither he nor his backroom staff were given enough time before the match to check and alter the buttons and controls for last night’s game.

Brazil and Germany both started last night’s proceedings on the “Classical” settings, however it became very apparent that the South American side were not used to playing the tournament that way.

brazil-7-1-germany

Coaching staff from Brazil have come out in protest of the “Classical” settings, commenting that Brazil have also operated under a “Custom A” approach, there certain key attacking and defending commands are on completely different buttons.

They blame the non existent defending from Brazil last night, down to confusion over whether it was the “X” or “B” button that was to be used. The “Change Player” and “Sprint” commands were also lost on the Brazilian team, resulting in the shocking defeat.

FIFA Rules

According to FIFA 14 rules, Brazil must now refer to Germany as their “Lord” and bring them beer on demand. A fitting request for the Germans with a history of tyrannical devotion and a entire month dedicated to their love of booze.

Lose By 6: You must refer to your opponent as ‘My Lord’ for the rest of the night and get them a beer on request.”

If Brazil had not of scored a final consolation goal, they would have been forced to set u a Facebook group called “Brazil Are Shit At FIFA” and invite all their friends.

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