An office lotto syndicate based in Dublin has successfully set themselves up for crippling disappointment ahead of tonight’s Euromillions Jackpot.
The 12 strong group are all secretly convinced they’ve sealed their share of the money. They have all mentally quit the jobs they hate and are vividly imaging the happiness of walking out of their office for the final time to embark on the adventure of a lifetime, free of any financial worries.
“It’s just going to be so amazing when we win. I’ll finally be able to pay off some loans, leave this kip of a job and finally go on a holiday.”
Sharon O’Rourke,a a receptionist in the financial firm commented.
Can You Imagine
According to expert psychologist Eoin Connolly, the entire lotto syndicate will be devastated post lotto draw – drinking a bottle of gin on the top of the stairs while sobbing into a spice bag. Levels of hopelessness will be at an all time high come tomorrow.
It comes from conversations in work revolving around the “Can You Imagine” condition. When repeatedly thinking about being released from a life that’s trapped you, you thinking can become manic:
“People get a rush of endorphins thinking about the freedom, the holidays, the nice weather, the control and the stress free life. Unfortunately there are millions of other people doing the exact same thing, all have entered the lotto, making the chances of you ever winning ridiculously low, and your chances of becoming frustrated, angry and depressed tomorrow increasingly high.”
He went on to further comment that even if you don’t openly talk about the possibility of winning, your mind wanders to the idea of taking home the millions, setting you up to quickly be let down and forced back into a repetitive life you hate.
People are advised to not even bother to enter the Euromillions this evening – estimated at a whopping €70 million euro – as it’s better to be in a constant state of hopeless misery than to even entertain the idea of a positive future.