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Pro Garth Vigil To Be Held In Dublin Tonight

Pro Garth Vigil To Be Held In Dublin Tonight

Tens of thousands of Pro Garth campaigners are expected to descend onto Merrion Square this evening, for a candlelight vigil protesting over Dublin City Council’s recent decision to only grant… Read more »

Boko Haram Claim Responsibility For Jay Z Attack

Boko Haram Claim Responsibility For Jay Z Attack

Nigerian militant group, Boko Haram, who recently kidnapped over 200 school girls to sell them into slavery, have claimed responsibility for the latest attack on Jay Z. By Cormac Moore… Read more »

DJ Diaries Episode 1 : The Joys Of

DJ Diaries Episode 1 : The Joys Of

A powerful documentary, commissioned by the Irish Disk Jockeys Association has been released this week. The aim behind the eye opening film, is to highlight and raise awareness of the… Read more »

Luas Tannoy In Real Life – Foil Arms and Hog

Luas Tannoy In Real Life – Foil Arms and Hog

Foil Arms and Hog reveal some of the internal frustrations of life working for the Dublin transport service. The only usual stories to hit the media, are of violent dangers… Read more »

Starving African Kids Thankful For Irish Finishing Their Dinner

Starving African Kids Thankful For Irish Finishing Their Dinner

A group of starving African children have expressed their gratitude towards the Irish, for their tireless efforts at force feeding themselves food they don’t want, in order to clean their… Read more »

Liverpool Launching New Official Drink To Capitalise On Ability To Bottle Things

Liverpool Launching New Official Drink To Capitalise On Ability To Bottle Things

It has been confirmed tonight by Liverpool FC that the club is to launch a new range of drinks, to capitalise on their unmatched ability to bottle things. By Cormac… Read more »

Gerry Adams Set To Cover Shaggy’s “It Wasn’t Me”

Gerry Adams Set To Cover Shaggy’s “It Wasn’t Me”

It has emerged today that Sinn Féin leader Gerry Adams, current being questioned in relation to the murder of Jean McConville, is to release his own cover of Shaggy’s hit… Read more »

Dublin PR Firm Overwhelmed By Social Media Award Nomination

Dublin PR Firm Overwhelmed By Social Media Award Nomination

Dublin based Youthful Buzzword PR, are today shocked, surprised and overwhelmed with the news that they have been nominated for a Social Media Award – even though they nominated themselves…. Read more »

Irish Women Reminded To Wear Nothing But Floral

Irish Women Reminded To Wear Nothing But Floral

Irish women are being reminded today to ensure they have the required amount of floral patterned clothes for the weekend, to make sure that they all look exactly the same… Read more »

Giggs Brings Keating, Woods and Hefner Onto Backroom Team

Giggs Brings Keating, Woods and Hefner Onto Backroom Team

Ryan Giggs has drafted in Ronan Keating, Tiger Woods and Hugh Hefner to join his backroom team after being appointed interim manager for the fallen giants Manchester United.  By Cormac… Read more »

Child Slaves Thrilled As Pennys Announces Expansion Plans

Child Slaves Thrilled As Pennys Announces Expansion Plans

Child slaves across India have welcomed the announcement today from Penny’s about their ambitious plans to move into the US market.  By Cormac Moore Penny’s is one of the most… Read more »

Ruairi Quinn To Ban Unruly Conference Delegates From School Debs

Ruairi Quinn To Ban Unruly Conference Delegates From School Debs

An angry minister for Education Ruairi Quinn has warned he will be sending notes home to the parents of several ill-disciplined teachers after some unruly behaviour at the ASTI teacher’s… Read more »

Iona Institute Protesting Against Gay Penguins

Iona Institute Protesting Against Gay Penguins

Labelled as Ireland’s first gay penguin couple, Penelope and Missy are now the focus of an anti-gay marriage protest. The same-sex pair, who reside at their polar ice home in… Read more »

Uncontrollable Erection Traps Man In Jacuzzi For 5 Hours

Uncontrollable Erection Traps Man In Jacuzzi For 5 Hours

A 31 year old man found himself trapped in a leisure centre Jacuzzi today for nearly 5 hours, after a random erection prevented him for being able to leave.  By Cormac Moore Initial… Read more »

Patrick Nulty Takes ‘The Fear’ To A Whole New Level

Patrick Nulty Takes ‘The Fear’ To A Whole New Level

People are in awe today of disgraced, former independent TD Patrick Nulty, as he has taken The Fear, to an entirely new level.  By Cormac Moore Many people have experienced the… Read more »

Thousands Expected To Picket Fred Phelps Funeral

Thousands Expected To Picket Fred Phelps Funeral

Thousands of people from all over America are expected to show up and picket the former leader of the Westboro Baptist Church’s funeral.  By Cormac Moore Fred Phelps was considered… Read more »

Thousands Mourn Loss Of Gordan D’Arcy’s Beard

Thousands Mourn Loss Of Gordan D’Arcy’s Beard

Thousands of people all over Ireland are trying to come to terms with the tragic loss of Gordan D’Arcy’s facial hair, after it’s life was ended yesterday when Ireland beat… Read more »

Garth Brooks To Perform Private Concert For Croke Park Residents

Garth Brooks To Perform Private Concert For Croke Park Residents

In an effort to settle the on-going dispute involving the Croke Park Residents and the country music singer concert dates, Garth Brooks has agreed to play a private gig in… Read more »

Conspiracy Theorists Step Up Efforts On Missing Malaysia Flight

Conspiracy Theorists Step Up Efforts On Missing Malaysia Flight

Conspiracy Theorists have been flat out, working incredibly long hours over the last number of days, trying to come up with some horseshit theory as to what happened the tragic… Read more »

Woman Who Posts Multiple Selfies Actually Dead Inside

Woman Who Posts Multiple Selfies Actually Dead Inside

It has become clear that a woman who posts numerous selfies on a daily basis, is actually dead on the inside, hates her life and feeds off the attention of… Read more »

Revealed: Irish Aural Tapes Using Breaking Bad

Revealed: Irish Aural Tapes Using Breaking Bad

Leaked Irish aural tapes from this year’s Leaving Certificate have revealed that the State Examinations Commission has used Breaking Bad on one of their examination tapes for this years course…. Read more »

Ranelagh Joyrider Released Following Rampage; All Weapons Confiscated & $100

Ranelagh Joyrider Released Following Rampage; All Weapons Confiscated & $100

The joyrider who cut a path of destruction through Dublin City last night in a stolen van has appeared outside Pearse Street Garda station with full health, but minus his… Read more »

Angela Kerins Checks Into Rehab To Deal With Addiction To Hypocrisy

Angela Kerins Checks Into Rehab To Deal With Addiction To Hypocrisy

Angela Kerins, has been admitted to an addiction rehabilitation clinic, to help her overcome her addiction to hypocrisy, The Potato can reveal today. By Cormac Moore Angela Kerins, who is… Read more »

Office Politics Expected To Turn Vicious After Nation Watches House of Cards

Office Politics Expected To Turn Vicious After Nation Watches House of Cards

Office politics around the country, are expected to take a turn for the worst, after the entire nation spent the weekend consumed by the second series of House of Cards…. Read more »

Dairy Council Warn Of Milk Drop As Farmers Flock To Garth

Dairy Council Warn Of Milk Drop As Farmers Flock To Garth

Aiken Promotions have announced a bold move in their plans to move the forthcoming Garth Brooks concerts to the Phoenix Park in order to facilitate the huge crowds of rural… Read more »

GAA To Reduce Number of Replays Thanks To Garth Brooks

GAA To Reduce Number of Replays Thanks To Garth Brooks

The GAA have announced plans for a reduction in the number of drawn matches in this year’s All-Ireland Senior Championship in the wake of yet another sold out Garth Brooks… Read more »

Traveller Family Wake Up In Oz Following Storm

Traveller Family Wake Up In Oz Following Storm

Members of a traveller family are settling into their new life in the magical Land of Oz after their mobile home was swept away by the gale force winds of… Read more »

Mans Unwritten Screenplay Sweeps Board at Future Oscars

Mans Unwritten Screenplay Sweeps Board at Future Oscars

Longford accountant Sean O’Brien will celebrate his victory at an Academy Awards Ceremony in the not too distant future, where his yet-to-be-written first screenplay will win an unprecedented 14 Oscars,… Read more »

Chris Brown Confirmed as Support For Garth Brooks

Chris Brown Confirmed as Support For Garth Brooks

Country music fans are in for a treat when Garth Brooks plays his sold-out Croke Park shows this summer, as R ‘n B star Chris Brown has been announced as… Read more »

Man Offers Kidney For Garth Brooks Tickets

Man Offers Kidney For Garth Brooks Tickets

With nearly a quarter of a million tickets sold in a matter of minutes for Garth Brooks comeback concerts in Croke Park, one boot-scootin’ fan is taking drastic measures to ensure he… Read more »

Garth Brooks Fans Riot In Ticket Queues – Several Injured

Garth Brooks Fans Riot In Ticket Queues – Several Injured

Several people have been arrested this morning after rioting broke out at a Ticketmaster outlet in St. Stephen’s Green, as fans queued for tickets to Garth Brooks Croke Park Concert. … Read more »

Cavan Begrudgery Soars as The Strypes Appear on Conan O’Brien Show

Cavan Begrudgery Soars as The Strypes Appear on Conan O’Brien Show

Levels of bitterness have skyrocketed in the border county of Cavan after a recent appearance by homegrown rockstars The Strypes on the Conan O’Brien show, writes Gerry McBride. It is… Read more »

RTE Ban Gay People From TV To Avoid Future Controversy

RTE Ban Gay People From TV To Avoid Future Controversy

In an attempt to prevent further outrage from both the gay community and the homophobic one, RTE have made the decision to ban gay people from ever appearing on TV… Read more »

John Waters Victim of Vicious “Straight Bashing” Attack

John Waters Victim of Vicious “Straight Bashing” Attack

Journalist John Waters, the man who claims that allowing gay marriage could be “potentially destructive of the very fabric of Irish society”, has been a vicitim of a recent “Straight… Read more »

The Weekly Mash Up – January 25th

The Weekly Mash Up – January 25th

This week saw the shock exit of an Irish model from a photo shoot, Bill Murray doing whatever he wants and protests over the ending of RTE’s Amber.  Those and… Read more »

Justin Bieber Announced As The Most Valuable Prison Currency in The USA.

Justin Bieber Announced As The Most Valuable Prison Currency in The USA.

Following the arrest of Justin Bieber on DUI charges, TMZ.com have received inside information from the prison Justin is being held in. By Linda Meehan TMZ’s  source has said: ‘When… Read more »

Dáil Protest March Planned Over Horrific Ending Of Amber

Dáil Protest March Planned Over Horrific Ending Of Amber

The four part TV show about a teenage Irish girl from Sandyford, who goes missing never to be seen again has sparked outrage because the ending was left ‘open to… Read more »

Matt Cooper To Write Book About Dangerous Visit To North Dublin

Matt Cooper To Write Book About Dangerous Visit To North Dublin

Following on from his recent secretive trip to North Korea, the Today FM broadcaster said he is going to ‘up it a notch’ in the risk factor by entering North… Read more »

Bill Murray Does Whatever He Damn Well Pleases

Bill Murray Does Whatever He Damn Well Pleases

A regular visitor to Ireland, the actor Bill Murray has been spotted in various parts of the country, gate crashing parties, acting erratically and generally just being Bill Murray. By… Read more »

Colin Farrell To Return As Line Dancing Instructor In Dublin

Colin Farrell To Return As Line Dancing Instructor In Dublin

Break for the Border have decided to cash in on the Garth Brooks gig’s in Dublin this July by asking Hollywood superstar Colin Farrell to reprise his role as their… Read more »

Garth Brooks To Perform “Standing Outside The Spire” Special

Garth Brooks To Perform “Standing Outside The Spire” Special

Legendary country singer Garth Brooks today announced that he will be bringing his tour to Ireland later in the year.  By Cormac Moore The news came as a delight to… Read more »

Irish Model Is Done With This Bullshit

Irish Model Is Done With This Bullshit

In an unprecedented turn of events, an Irish model has walked off a photo-shoot in Dublin City claiming to be “done with this bullshit”. By Gerry McBride Believed to be… Read more »

The Weekly Mash Up – January 18th

The Weekly Mash Up – January 18th

Paul Kiely is revealed as Ireland’s biggest prick, Castleknock residents campaign for a southside postal code and Nadia Forde is linked with one boy genius. Those and the rest of… Read more »

Latest Batch of Niall Horans Love-Children Born

Latest Batch of Niall Horans Love-Children Born

Westmeath once more awoke to the pitter-patter of tiny little feet today as the latest tranche of nippers fathered by Niall Horan were born, writes Gerry McBride. Numbering 16 boys and… Read more »

12 Years A Slave To Get Exciting Sequel

12 Years A Slave To Get Exciting Sequel

With a bunch of Golden Globes already in the bag and Oscar success surely around the corner, “12 Years a Slave” is this years must-see talkie. To capitalize on this,… Read more »

U2 Postpone New Album Until Someone Else Important Dies

U2 Postpone New Album Until Someone Else Important Dies

In Hollywood last night, U2 picked up the Golden Globe award for Best Original Song for “Ordinary Love”, as featured in the Nelson Mandela biopic “Mandela: Long Walk to Freedom”…. Read more »

Kitten Punched in Face by Amy Huberman

Kitten Punched in Face by Amy Huberman

Fans of lovely woman Amy Huberman dropped their jaws in unison yesterday when the news broke that she had thumped a baby cat in the mush for no apparent reason…. Read more »

BT Young Scientist Winner Linked With Nadia Forde

BT Young Scientist Winner Linked With Nadia Forde

It just keeps on getting better for the BT Young Scientist of the Year winner Paul Clarke, as it appears that the boy genius has gotten himself romantically involved with Irish… Read more »

The Weekly Mash Up – January 11th

The Weekly Mash Up – January 11th

A week that saw a certain astronaut unable to re-enter Copper Face Jacks, a pizza chain launching the first ever “Fuck It” meal deal and one local Meath town bitterly… Read more »

Astronaut Chris Hadfield Barred From Coppers Following Drunken Rampage

Astronaut Chris Hadfield Barred From Coppers Following Drunken Rampage

Ireland’s love affair with Canadian astronaut Commander Chris Hadfield hit some turbulence last night following a boozy session within the esteemed walls of Dublins premier nightclub Copper Face Jacks. By… Read more »

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