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Wallace Released After Agreeing To Build Italian Quarter In Limerick Prison

Wallace Released After Agreeing To Build Italian Quarter In Limerick Prison

After spending only a few short hours in prison, Mick Wallace Released has been released, on the condition that he builds an Italian quarter at the back of Limerick Prison… Read more »

Study: Israelis Have Forgotten Most Of Their 10 Commandments

Study: Israelis Have Forgotten Most Of Their 10 Commandments

As the increased military strikes from Israel continue on the West Bank and Gaza Strip, a new study has definitively shown that the Jewish state has in fact forgotten a large part… Read more »

BREAKING: Alan Shatter Resigns His Position As Minister For Justice

BREAKING: Alan Shatter Resigns His Position As Minister For Justice

Breaking news coming today has revealed that Alan Shatter, has resigned his position as Minister for Justice, after a string of controversies surrounding his department came to light recently. The… Read more »

Enda Kenny Orders Garda Ombudman’s Office To Be Fumigated

Enda Kenny Orders Garda Ombudman’s Office To Be Fumigated

In light of the ever growing controversy surrounding the Garda Síochána Ombudsman Commission (GSOC), Taoiseach Enda Kenny has order the entire office space to be fumigated. By Cormac Moore Reacting to… Read more »

Consultants Launch Irish Water By Pissing Into Water Supply

Consultants Launch Irish Water By Pissing Into Water Supply

Irish Water was officially launched today, where the overpaid consultants celebrated the occasion by pissing in the water supply. By Cormac Moore The controversial move came as the marketing team,… Read more »

15 Things You Need to Know About Margaretta D’Arcy

15 Things You Need to Know About Margaretta D’Arcy

Poet, Author, Director, Political Activist, Old woman… just who is this Margaretta D’Arcy that the internet loves so much this week? by Gerry McBride The 79 year old who was… Read more »

Ex CRC Chief Paul Kiely Is Ireland’s Biggest Prick

Ex CRC Chief Paul Kiely Is Ireland’s Biggest Prick

The Public Accounts Committee hearing, looking into the payment scandals at the Central Remedial Clinic, have finally come to the honest conclusion that the former CRC Chief, Paul Kiely, is… Read more »

Galway Puts Itself Forward As Interim City of Culture

Galway Puts Itself Forward As Interim City of Culture

GALWAY CITY COUNCIL has today put forward a proposal to the Minister for Arts Jimmy Deenihan to step in as an ‘interim’ City of Culture. By Diarmuid Hayes Councillor Pádraig… Read more »

Jobs News: CEO Position Available at Limerick City Of Culture

Jobs News: CEO Position Available at Limerick City Of Culture

Limerick is to become Ireland’s first City of Culture in 2014. The overall vision of the program is to showcase Limerick’s vibrant artistic and cultural talents. Since the program launched… Read more »

Central Remedial Clinic Launch Christmas Top Up Appeal

Central Remedial Clinic Launch Christmas Top Up Appeal

The Central Remedial Clinic has launched it’s first ever annual Christmas Top Up Appeal! The Christmas appeal aims to help raise much needed funds for senior management, who can’t seem… Read more »

POLL: Senior Executive Salaries or Hospital Beds?

POLL: Senior Executive Salaries or Hospital Beds?

In today’s poll, we want to know what you think is more important: giving someone who is on a 6 figure salary an average industrial wage as a top up,… Read more »

Ministers To Meet About Airbrushing Senior Executives Salaries

Ministers To Meet About Airbrushing Senior Executives Salaries

Government Ministers are to meet this week to discuss the possibility of using airbrushing techniques to hide additional payments for senior hospital executives from the public.  Information was revealed this week that numerous… Read more »

MILFs Offended After Michael McGrath Denies ‘Liking’ Them

MILFs Offended After Michael McGrath Denies ‘Liking’ Them

MILFs around Ireland have today spoken out about offensive comments they claim Fianna Fáil Minister Michael McGrath made about them. Michael McGrath’s page was pictured after he liked the MILF of the Day… Read more »

Enda Kenny In Paris To Tell Youth They Should Probably Just Emigrate Too

Enda Kenny In Paris To Tell Youth They Should Probably Just Emigrate Too

Enda Kenny has today travelled to Paris to attend a conference on youth unemployment in Europe. The Taoiseach is to deliver a keynote speech to the young people of Europe,… Read more »

Taoiseach Hopeful Santa Will Take On Unemployed In Workshop

Taoiseach Hopeful Santa Will Take On Unemployed In Workshop

Taoiseach Enda Kenny says he is hopeful that Santa Claus might take on young unemployed Irish tradespeople in his workshop over the busy Christmas period. Speaking at the annual West… Read more »

BREAKING: Youths Who Attack Fire Brigades Are F*cking Idiots

BREAKING: Youths Who Attack Fire Brigades Are F*cking Idiots

Evidence is emerging today that is confirming that youths, who attack fire brigades, are in fact fucking idiots. The confirmation came after an intensive study was carried out last night… Read more »

POLL: Should Ireland Legalise Marijuana?

POLL: Should Ireland Legalise Marijuana?

With the news that Ming Flanagan will be bringing forth proposed legislation on the legalisation of marijuana in Ireland, we want to know you think about the issue. Should we… Read more »

Parents Warned About Car With Blue Lights Taking Children

Parents Warned About Car With Blue Lights Taking Children

Parents of their own biological children are asked to be extra vigilant after numerous reports of white cars, with blue flashing lights have been found to be taking children from… Read more »

Welfare Minister To Clamp Down On Fashionistas And Other Made Up Job Titles

Welfare Minister To Clamp Down On Fashionistas And Other Made Up Job Titles

By Brian Moss Welfare Minister Joan Burton has hit out at self-styled Socialites and Fashionista’s claiming that technically (and in every other way) they are unemployed and so must attend… Read more »

Dead People Planning Budget Protests

Dead People Planning Budget Protests

The Dead Person’s Association of Ireland (DPAI) are considering taking action against the government, in protest over new measures introduced in Tuesday’s budget. Budget 2014 announced by the government included… Read more »

John Gilligan To Launch Government’s DrugBridge Scheme

John Gilligan To Launch Government’s DrugBridge Scheme

Why was notorious criminal John Gilligan released on the same day as Budget 2014? It would appear that there is a very good reason for that, that The Potato can… Read more »

Ireland’s Heat Expected To Be Turned Off Tonight

Ireland’s Heat Expected To Be Turned Off Tonight

Reports are emerging today that the nation’s heat will be turned off this evening in another extreme cost saving measure for Budget 2014. The decision to turn the country’s heat… Read more »

POLL: Should Enda Kenny Have Taken Part In A TV Debate?

POLL: Should Enda Kenny Have Taken Part In A TV Debate?

As the government deals with another one of it’s own monumental failures, many people around the country are arguing over whether or not Enda Kenny should have taken part in… Read more »

Government Planning 2nd Seanad Referendum Already

Government Planning 2nd Seanad Referendum Already

Updated 16:30 With the No vote winning the referendum, leaked reports from inside government offices, show that plans are already being made to hold a second referendum to abolish the… Read more »

Man Complaining About Referendum Probably Won’t Vote Anyway

Man Complaining About Referendum Probably Won’t Vote Anyway

A 30 year old man, Patrick Reilly, who has been openly complaining about the government and the upcoming referendum, probably wont bother voting this Friday. The man who has been… Read more »

Crucial Life Advice From a Fianna Fáil Candidate

Crucial Life Advice From a Fianna Fáil Candidate

In the first of a fortnightly series of advice columns, the Potato has asked potential Fianna Fail candidate for Dublin South, Donnacha Flynn to answer some of our readers questions…. Read more »

International Geopolitics With Francois Hollande

International Geopolitics With Francois Hollande

We here at the thepotato.ie understand the world is a complicated and confusing place. Especially when your priorities are getting the shift (at least) and distracting your current employer from… Read more »

Party Logos Added To Official Eye Test Charts

Party Logos Added To Official Eye Test Charts

While campaigns are now fully underway for the upcoming referendum, the campaign signs of major political parties are receiving attention for non-political reasons. The Association of Optometrists Ireland (AOI) has… Read more »

POLL: Do You Miss The Recession?

POLL: Do You Miss The Recession?

We’ve left the recession – again – and have made our way back to economic growth. It’s probably been one of the best weeks of your life and you’re more… Read more »

Latest Figures Show Slave Trade In Ireland Tops 20,000

Latest Figures Show Slave Trade In Ireland Tops 20,000

Latest figures announced by Minister for Social Protection Joan Burton show that the amount of slaves in Ireland has topped the 20,000 figure mark.  The figure was seen as an… Read more »

Junior Doctors To Get Their Own Free Private Bars

Junior Doctors To Get Their Own Free Private Bars

In an attempt to avert strike action by junior doctors later this month, the government have offered to install free private bars in every hospital in the country.  The Irish… Read more »

Junior Infant Proposes Abolition of Senior Infants

Junior Infant Proposes Abolition of Senior Infants

There is upheaval in a Dublin primary school as a pupil in the junior class is seeking the abolition of the senior class. Eoin Kenny, described as a precocious little… Read more »

UN Leaders to Meet to Discuss Correct Pronunciation of Hezbollah

UN Leaders to Meet to Discuss Correct Pronunciation of Hezbollah

Senior members of the United nations are to meet later today to discuss once and for all the correct pronunciation of Hezbollah. With the Islamic group in the news due… Read more »

Putin Attacks Rainbows To End Gay Propaganda In Russia

Putin Attacks Rainbows To End Gay Propaganda In Russia

Russia’s stance on Gay ‘Propaganda’ is now widely known, but the levels to which the country’s President, Vladimir Putin, is going to in order to fight it, is only now… Read more »

President Obama Launches War On Truth

President Obama Launches War On Truth

President Barack Obama has today officially announced a War on Truth as Bradley Manning gets sentenced today for leaking internal documents online. The whistle-blower could face up to 136 years in prison… Read more »

International: Dana Carvey on Anthony Weiner

International: Dana Carvey on Anthony Weiner

Anthony Weiner has caused huge controversy in the US after he admitted to texting sexually explicit messages to young women while in congress.  Weiner who is a marred man and… Read more »

Sky News announce “Baby-Cam” Interactive Service

Sky News announce “Baby-Cam” Interactive Service

Coinciding with the news that the Duchess of Cambridge has gone into labour, Sky News have announced a brand new interactive service available to all Sky and Sky+ subscribers. The… Read more »

Sarah Carey To Perform ‘Smack My Bitch Up’ On Saturday Night Show

Sarah Carey To Perform ‘Smack My Bitch Up’ On Saturday Night Show

Sarah Carey will perform a cover of The Prodigy’s Smack My Bitch up on Brendan O’Connor’s Saturday Night show when the series returns in September. Carey will follow Lynda Martin’s… Read more »

Sarah Carey’s Top 5 Ways To Deal With Being Groped

Sarah Carey’s Top 5 Ways To Deal With Being Groped

Sarah Carey speaks exclusively to The Potato about the best ways for dealing with groping. Here she gives us her top 5 ways to deal with the inappropriate behaviour from men so… Read more »

Woman Jailed For 20 Years For Shooting at Black Man and Not Killing Him

Woman Jailed For 20 Years For Shooting at Black Man and Not Killing Him

Marissa Alexander of Jacksonville Florida, has been sentenced to 20 years in prison for firing warning shots at her abusive husband in an attempt to avoid a brutal beating from… Read more »

Sisters Of Charity Changed To Sisters Of Harsh Scabby B*tches

Sisters Of Charity Changed To Sisters Of Harsh Scabby B*tches

The Sisters of Charity, along with several other religious orders implicated in the Magdalene Laundries  are to have their names changed and their charity status revoked after they refused to… Read more »

Regina Doherty: ‘I Speak Out My Arsehole and Not My Fanny’

Regina Doherty: ‘I Speak Out My Arsehole and Not My Fanny’

Regina Doherty has today come out and given details as to exact reasons of her complaint against the comments that Senator David Norris made towards her during the debate on… Read more »

Gardaí Saving Millions As Criminals Kill Each Other

Gardaí Saving Millions As Criminals Kill Each Other

The government’s cost savings plan for the gardaí appears to be working better than expected, as the reduction in funding and resources has brought with it a reduction in the… Read more »

Orange Order Strives To Make Twelfth of July “Inclusive”

Orange Order Strives To Make Twelfth of July “Inclusive”

On the Twelfth of July, the pinnacle of the Orange Order’s marching season in Ulster, The Potato’s Northern Ireland correspondent, Christian Talbot looks at how the organisation is opening up,… Read more »

Raped Women More Dangerous Than Criminal Drug Lords

Raped Women More Dangerous Than Criminal Drug Lords

Ever wondered what’s worse than a murdering, drug pushing and socially eroding crime lord in Ireland? A woman, who has been subjected to a traumatic, sexual assault often stemming from… Read more »

Tom Barry Later Asks Aine Collins To ‘Meet Him’

Tom Barry Later Asks Aine Collins To ‘Meet Him’

In the farce that is the media outrage over Lapgate, it appears that the flirtatious and possibly slightly randy TD Tom Barry has asked his Dáil crush Aine Collins to… Read more »

Decision To Terminate The Dáil Bar Taken

Decision To Terminate The Dáil Bar Taken

A controversial decision has been made today to shut down the Dáil bar and prevent TDs from drinking at their place of work.  The decision comes as people finally cop… Read more »

Abortion Bill Amended To Include Pregnant Women Bitten By Zombies

Abortion Bill Amended To Include Pregnant Women Bitten By Zombies

Minister for health Dr James ‘Teenwolf’ Reilly has announced that the Protection of Life During Pregnancy Bill has been amended to allow for abortion when a pregnant woman is bitten… Read more »

God Still Unavailable To Comment On Abortion Legislation

God Still Unavailable To Comment On Abortion Legislation

Growing numbers of people are becoming concerned as head of the Catholic Church, God, is still unavailable to comment on the controversial issue of abortion here in Ireland. The Dáil… Read more »

Youth Defence Tupperware Party Attracts 167 Million People

Youth Defence Tupperware Party Attracts 167 Million People

A Tupperware party that was held in the home of recently widowed Maureen Dooley has attracted a record crowd of 167 million people. Her previous record was four, which she… Read more »

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