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Snowden Rejected As Mosney Fully Booked For Summer

Snowden Rejected As Mosney Fully Booked For Summer

Bad news for Edward Snowden fans as it appears that his plans to visit Ireland have hit a rather large set back.  Edward Snowden was attempting to make arrangements to… Read more »

Success For The Gathering As Snowden Planning Trip To Ireland

Success For The Gathering As Snowden Planning Trip To Ireland

Another massive success for the organisers of The Gathering as it has been revealed that Edward Snowden, the most wanted man in the world, is planning a trip to Ireland… Read more »

Edward Snowden – Edward Snowed In | Meme

Edward Snowden – Edward Snowed In | Meme

Edward Snowden the NSA whistle-blower, now in meme form.

Struggling Mortgage Holders To Pay Off Debt With Money From Arse

Struggling Mortgage Holders To Pay Off Debt With Money From Arse

Struggling homeowners were welcoming news today that the government may allow those that are in large amounts of negative equity, to pay some of that debt using money pulled from… Read more »

Hipster Had Anglo Tapes On Vinyl Before Everyone Else

Hipster Had Anglo Tapes On Vinyl Before Everyone Else

An annoying Dublin hipster has today revealed that he had a copy of the Anglo Tapes before they became mainstream and overly commercial. He claims that he had the tapes… Read more »

Anglo Tapes: John Bowe’s Arse To Be Mined For Additional Funds

Anglo Tapes: John Bowe’s Arse To Be Mined For Additional Funds

The Anglo Director John Bowe, who is at the heart of the Anglo Tapes controversy is to have his arse excavated in an attempt to find additional funds for Revenue…. Read more »

Edward Snowden Releases New Book

Edward Snowden Releases New Book

The Potato can exclusively reveal today that the Where’s Wally range of books are to get a modern remake and feature none other than international fugitive Edward Snowden. The new… Read more »

Kenny Commissions David Guetta To Remix Anglo Tapes

Kenny Commissions David Guetta To Remix Anglo Tapes

Enda Kenny has handed over the hugely controversial Anglo Tapes to international DJ David Guetta so that he can remix them into a 7 minute long club anthem. The tapes… Read more »

Girlfriends To Be Taxed For Running Late

Girlfriends To Be Taxed For Running Late

Leaked proposals from next year’s budget have shown that the government plans to impose a strict new tax on girlfriends when they run late for dates and nights out.  A… Read more »

MISSING: Average Irish Workers On €36,079

MISSING: Average Irish Workers On €36,079

An appeal to help find the average Irish workers on €36,079 has been issued today.  Latest CSO figures show that the average worker in Ireland earns €36,079 per year which… Read more »

Dutch Musician Bono Holds Benefit Concert For Michelle Obama

Dutch Musician Bono Holds Benefit Concert For Michelle Obama

Dutch musician Bono has flown in to Dublin today to perform at a benefit concert he organised to help pay for Ms. Obama’s lunch today with her 2 daughters. The… Read more »

Confused Pro-Life Campaigners Sending Death Threats

Confused Pro-Life Campaigners Sending Death Threats

It would appear that a number of  Pro Life campaigners have recently been getting the objective of their cause very wrong as they sent numerous politicians death threats in relation… Read more »

Smokers And Gamblers To Be Cut Off From The Dole

Smokers And Gamblers To Be Cut Off From The Dole

In a shocking announcement this morning, Minister for Social Protection, Joan Burton, announced that individuals who smoke and gamble will be removed from claiming any form of social welfare on… Read more »

Draw Leaves 6 Counties Situation Unresolved

Draw Leaves 6 Counties Situation Unresolved

Tonight’s international friendly between England and the Republic of Ireland has finished 1-1 this evening. Shane Long put the Irish in front early on in the first half, but an… Read more »

IRE v ENG: Winner Gets 6 Counties For Keepzies

IRE v ENG: Winner Gets 6 Counties For Keepzies

As if tonight’s international match between England and The Republic of Ireland was not going to be competitive enough, it appears now that the winners of this evening’s game will… Read more »

Alan Shatter’s Book Being Made Into Adult Movie

Alan Shatter’s Book Being Made Into Adult Movie

Minister For Justice, Alan Shatter, has lately been involved in a series of public controversies. Issues ranging from penalty points, breathalysers and the private affairs of independent TDs, have all… Read more »

Bin Laden Movie Being Made From TheJournal.ie Comments

Bin Laden Movie Being Made From TheJournal.ie Comments

Michael Bay has just announced that he will begin filming a new action packed blockbuster chronicling the life of the international terrorist Osama Bin Laden. The script for the movie will be based entirely… Read more »

Alan Shatter To Expose Wallace’s Teenage Diaries

Alan Shatter To Expose Wallace’s Teenage Diaries

The Alan Shatter/Mick Wallace spat took a bizarre twist today. Despite the negative press he has received for revealing confidential Garda information live on television, Minister Shatter has insisted on worsening… Read more »

Alan Shatter To Do Celeb Gossip Column In Heat Magazine

Alan Shatter To Do Celeb Gossip Column In Heat Magazine

You would think that Alan Shatter, the Fine Gael politician, would be busy enough taking on three ministerial roles; Minister of Justice, Minister of Defence and Minister of Propaganda, but… Read more »

IRA Membership Up After UK Gives Ireland Just 1 Point

IRA Membership Up After UK Gives Ireland Just 1 Point

Potato sources today have confirmed that premium IRA membership numbers have rose dramatically after the United Kingdom gave Ryan Dolan’s performance of ‘Only Love Survives’ one measly point. Millions tuned… Read more »

Alan Shatter Is The Anal Star

Alan Shatter Is The Anal Star

Alan Shatter is The Anal Star, and we can prove it. We engaged on some hard hitting investigative journalism and put the name Alan Shatter into an online anagram maker…. Read more »

President To Be Questioned Over Pot Of Gold

President To Be Questioned Over Pot Of Gold

The Potato can exclusively reveal the The President of the Republic of Ireland, Michael D. Higgins, has become target of an enquiry by the Irish Revenue after a tip off… Read more »

Finglas Man Revises Republican History Before Sun Holiday

Finglas Man Revises Republican History Before Sun Holiday

25 year old Finglas man, Anthony Donnelly, has begun spending hours every week delving into the republican past of the country, so that he can be prepared for drunken arguments with English tourists,… Read more »

Leaving Cert Students Better Off Working in Sweat Shops

Leaving Cert Students Better Off Working in Sweat Shops

The Committee on the Rights of the Child (CRC), an independent body set up by the UN, has commissioned a startling report showing children doing the Leaving Cert undergo more… Read more »

Judge, Jury & Obstetrician | Video

Judge, Jury & Obstetrician | Video

An exclusive, behind the scenes look at the 6 person panel that will be assessing women on the basis of suicide ideation. Thanks to Tara Flynn for this important insight. Join us… Read more »

Bishop Knows Best | Video

Bishop Knows Best | Video

Bishop knows best. Tara Flynn explores the massive benefits women can get from simply listening from their Bishop and not thinking. Lovely.

Women Delighted With Bishops Telling Them What To Do

Women Delighted With Bishops Telling Them What To Do

Women around Ireland today have expressed their delight with the recent comments the Catholic Bishops have made regarding the proposed abortion legislation. The group of men, none of who have… Read more »

Great Work Being Done In The IRA – Martin McGuinness

Great Work Being Done In The IRA – Martin McGuinness

Martin McGuinness thanks the IRA for the apparent great work they have been doing. It’s nice to see them getting some positive feedback from a senior member of staff. Connect… Read more »

Peter Mattews’ New Book ‘Dead Anyway’

Peter Mattews’ New Book ‘Dead Anyway’

TD Peter Mattews, after making controversial comments on Vincent Browne last night has released the first in a series of sci-fi novels. We were able to grab a sneak peak… Read more »

The Vincent Browne Song | Video

The Vincent Browne Song | Video

An emotional ballad for the man that is Vincent Browne. By Derek Flynn Connect on Facebook

Enda Kenny Meets Margaret Thatcher

Enda Kenny Meets Margaret Thatcher

Thankfully just a Photoshoped picture and not a new sort of twisted scientific experiment gone wrong. Not a bad look for Enda Kenny, but something we hope he doesn’t take a liking… Read more »

Mayo Councillor Wants Suits Banned

Mayo Councillor Wants Suits Banned

Today, an Independent Mayo town Councillor has urged the government to introduce legislation that would ban the wearing of suits. Michael Kilcoyne, the Mayo native has been researching the impact… Read more »

Hoodies Tired of Discrimination

Hoodies Tired of Discrimination

A new debate being discussed in Mayo today has been labelled as disgraceful by followers of Hooduism. According to the group CHAVS (Concerned Hoodies Against Vicious Slaggings) practitioners of hooduism,… Read more »

We Hate Fags | Video

We Hate Fags | Video

We hate fags and make no apology about our stance on the subject. Join us on Facebook

Prominent Republican Resigns Over Conflict of Interest

Prominent Republican Resigns Over Conflict of Interest

Following much media speculation and controversy, prominent Irish Republican and former Sinn Fein member, Eoghan O’Suilleabhain (42), for the first time in an interview today with The Potato, explains the… Read more »

Irish Man Utd Fan Celebrates Thatcher’s Death

Irish Man Utd Fan Celebrates Thatcher’s Death

19 year old Anto McCrossan was today continuing his celebrations after hearing the news of Margaret Thatcher’s death. The Tallaght man spent most of his day yesterday celebrating in the streets in… Read more »

Strike Kills Margaret Thatcher

Strike Kills Margaret Thatcher

It would appear Margaret Thatcher has been killed by a strike. More on this as the story develops. Join us on Facebook

Thatcher Dies After Falling From Roof

Thatcher Dies After Falling From Roof

The United Kingdom is in shock today with the news of the death of England’s first and only female roof thatcher. Elizabeth Berkley died early this morning when she fell… Read more »

Detentions Handed Out After INTO Conference – Sports Day Under Threat

Detentions Handed Out After INTO Conference – Sports Day Under Threat

INTO members who at their annual conference heckled The Minister for Education Ruarí Quinn returned home today to find that letters had been sent out to all of their parents…. Read more »

Eamon Gilmore Has Become A Scientologist

Eamon Gilmore Has Become A Scientologist

After a 2 hour long personality test, which came as a free gift from Tom Cruise, Labour leader Eamon Gilmore has today announced himself as a scientologist. Scientology, created by… Read more »

EU Delighted With Record Breaking Performance

EU Delighted With Record Breaking Performance

The heads of the EU were today celebrating another record breaking performance after the latest figures show that the union has successfully managed to beat the previously held record for the highest… Read more »

Jobs News: Position For TD Available

Jobs News: Position For TD Available

About The Company The Irish Government is looking for a new TD to join their incompetent and out of touch with the world team. The company was set up in… Read more »

Unwanted Pregnancies Leading Cause Of Politicians

Unwanted Pregnancies Leading Cause Of Politicians

Youth information charity Spunout.ie’s helpful entry on threesomes was met with withered, desiccated fury by Fine Gael TD Michelle Mulherin. Obviously enraged by the implication that anybody anywhere was getting… Read more »

Lost Storks Second Leading Cause Of Unwanted Pregnancies

Lost Storks Second Leading Cause Of Unwanted Pregnancies

Fine Gael TD, Michelle Mulherin today informed uneducated members of the public that fornication, was one of the leading causes of unwanted pregnancies. The comments were made while the TD… Read more »

FLOODS: John Waters Building Ark

FLOODS: John Waters Building Ark

Irish Times columnist John Waters is a familiar face in Ireland. Like many Irish faces, his is one aged by misery and foreboding. Spiritual leader and guardian of Irish Catholic… Read more »

Israel Gives Palestine Chance At Winning Independence

Israel Gives Palestine Chance At Winning Independence

After peace talks between Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu and PM of the Palestine National Authority Salam Fayyad, a deal has been struck where Palestine is being given the opportunity… Read more »

IRA To Star In Irish Version Of The Big Reunion

IRA To Star In Irish Version Of The Big Reunion

The Irish version of ITV2’s the Big Reunion will reunite 70’s parliamentary group The IRA. One of the most successful groups to come out of Ireland of all time, the… Read more »

Foxes To Be Armed To Make Fox Hunting More Competitive

Foxes To Be Armed To Make Fox Hunting More Competitive

In attempt to please the anti-fox hunting groups, the government have announced that foxes will be trained in the use of light artillery to make fox hunting more competitive for both sides…. Read more »

New Pope Head-hunted by Start-up Religions

New Pope Head-hunted by Start-up Religions

Yesterday evening in Rome, even before the white smoke had time to dissipate above the Vatican, Cardinal Jorge Bergoglio, or to give him his new title, Pope Francis the First,… Read more »

Controversy As Kenny Gets Xtra-Vision Fees Quashed

Controversy As Kenny Gets Xtra-Vision Fees Quashed

The Taoiseach was involved in the latest power abuse scandal, when it emerged that he threatened a member of staff at his local Xtra-Vision, if they did not remove the… Read more »

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