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This Pervert Bought A Drone – What Happens Next Will Blow Your Mind

This Pervert Bought A Drone – What Happens Next Will Blow Your Mind

48 year old pervert, Vincent Donaghue, who lives in Ballsbridge Dublin 4, has bought himself a brand new drone camera to take his filthy pastime to astounding new heights.  These… Read more »

Alarming Number of Stoners Developing MS Symptoms

Alarming Number of Stoners Developing MS Symptoms

As news that Junior Health Minister Alex White is to sign off on legislation to allow medical marijuana for MS sufferers, an alarming number of stoners have reportedly developed symptoms… Read more »

Reported Sightings of the Rare Irish 18-25 Year-Old

Reported Sightings of the Rare Irish 18-25 Year-Old

Various sources are confirming an increase in reported sightings of the once-common Irish 18-25 Year-Old. This has fuelled speculation that the Irish 18-25 Year-Old population – thought to be in… Read more »

Dunboyne Ecstatic As Damien Whittaker Finally Joins Facebook

Dunboyne Ecstatic As Damien Whittaker Finally Joins Facebook

Dunboyne locals are today celebrating, as news of Damien Whittaker’s recent decision to join Facebook spreads throughout the self proclaimed Republic. The social media network was set up in 2004,… Read more »

Irishman Banned From Online Dating Site For Telling Truth On Profile

Irishman Banned From Online Dating Site For Telling Truth On Profile

  “We’re shocked and to be honest it’s not something that we have ever dealt with before”, these were the words of Phil Stewart  CEO of Irish dating site, “Last… Read more »

Single Woman Claims Valentines Day Is ‘Just a Commercial Holiday Anyway’

Single Woman Claims Valentines Day Is ‘Just a Commercial Holiday Anyway’

Single woman Siobhan Riordan, has today claimed that St. Valentines Day is nothing more than a marketing stunt by large companies to help them boost sales.  By Cormac Moore Speaking… Read more »

RTE Issue Apology to Straight Man Shown Walking Past Gay Rights Protest

RTE Issue Apology to Straight Man Shown Walking Past Gay Rights Protest

RTE have issued a full apology to a Wicklow man shown on the Nine O’Clock News walking past a protest being held by Gay rights group LGBT Noize, writes Gerry… Read more »

Terenure Girl Regretting Convertible Mini Cooper Purchase as Storms Lash Country

Terenure Girl Regretting Convertible Mini Cooper Purchase as Storms Lash Country

As Storm Bridget lashes the country with torrential rain and hundred mph winds, 18 year old Terenure girl Sorcha O’Gorman is having a total ‘mare with her 2013 Mini Cooper… Read more »

Ireland’s Umbrella Supplies Running Dangerously Low

Ireland’s Umbrella Supplies Running Dangerously Low

The Potato has learned from a government source that the nation’s umbrella supplies are running dangerously low. With stormy weather already with us this weekend it is predicted that by… Read more »

Government Announce 1.9 Billion Plan to Make January Shorter

Government Announce 1.9 Billion Plan to Make January Shorter

Anyone with a dislike for the cold grey month of January have some cause for celebration this morning; although January will still be cold and grey, a new Government scheme… Read more »

Culchie Sees Lesbians Shifting, Loses Mind

Culchie Sees Lesbians Shifting, Loses Mind

A trip to Dublin has had life-changing consequences for one naive bog-orphan, who was left in a catatonic state following a night out in the city, writes Gerry McBride. The… Read more »

Single Girl Accepts She May Be a Geebag

Single Girl Accepts She May Be a Geebag

Highly attractive but perpetually single thirtysomething Zara O’Connell-Murtagh has accepted the reason she can’t hold onto a boyfriend is because she is a total geebag, writes Gerry McBride. Following her latest… Read more »

Exclusive: Ross O’Toole Brings Girl Back To The Hive

Exclusive: Ross O’Toole Brings Girl Back To The Hive

Elite athlete Ross O’Toole, from Dunboyne, Co. Meath, last night brought a female back to The Hive, The Potato can exclusively reveal today. O’Toole was spotted coming in the downstairs… Read more »

Deadline For Dumping Your Partner Before Valentines Day Approaches

Deadline For Dumping Your Partner Before Valentines Day Approaches

The government has declared this coming Sunday to be the last day it is acceptable to break up with your partner before Valentines Day, without being put on the countries… Read more »

Man Exhausted After Long Day Sucking His Gut In

Man Exhausted After Long Day Sucking His Gut In

29 year old Brian O’Reilly, from Galway, has this evening been relaxing after a strenuous day sucking his gut in, The Potato can exclusively reveal. By Cormac Moore Brian days are made… Read more »

Nightclub Photographer Imagines Killing Everyone

Nightclub Photographer Imagines Killing Everyone

Nightclub Photographer Niall Hagan (32), has admitted to wanting to murder nearly everyone he photographs while in front of the camera, the Potato can reveal today. By Christian Talbot Niall,… Read more »

RTE’s ‘The God Slot’ To Cure Gayness Using Work Of Fiction

RTE’s ‘The God Slot’ To Cure Gayness Using Work Of Fiction

RTÉ Radio One’s flagship Religious Current Affairs Programme ‘The God Slot’ has sensationally claimed that they can cure ‘Gayness’ in Ireland via the use of hymns and passages they will… Read more »

POLL: Should Castleknock Be Allowed A Southside Post Code?

POLL: Should Castleknock Be Allowed A Southside Post Code?

Yesterday The Potato revealed that residents in Castleknock are campaigning for a even numbered, southside post code.  Residents from the High Society Initiative in Castleknock, are leading the campaign as they believe… Read more »

Castleknock Campaigns For Southside Postal Code

Castleknock Campaigns For Southside Postal Code

Local Castleknock residents have come together to launch a campaign aimed at changing their postal code from a northside one, to a southside one.  By Cormac Moore Caslteknock has long… Read more »

Darragh Keogh Expected To Change Relationship Status

Darragh Keogh Expected To Change Relationship Status

Dunboyne locals are eagerly awaiting for Darragh Keogh to change his relationship status on Facebook, after he has been caught out a number of times going on a several “sneaky… Read more »

Crippling Sugar Addictions Eroding Fabric Of Society

Crippling Sugar Addictions Eroding Fabric Of Society

Sugar has become as dangerous as alcohol or tobacco, academics have said, as they call on the food industry to cut 30 per cent from processed food, calling it an… Read more »

Teenager Finally Has Car Engine Tuned Just Right

Teenager Finally Has Car Engine Tuned Just Right

Neighbours and friends have come out in force to congratulate a Drogheda teenager this week, following the news that he is finally finished fine-tuning the engine of his heavily customized… Read more »

Pizza Delivery Chain Announce “Fuck It” Meal Deal

Pizza Delivery Chain Announce “Fuck It” Meal Deal

As Fast Food chains brace themselves for the annual post-New-Years slump in business as many people cut out junk food for at best a fortnight, one Pizza Delivery Chain prepares to… Read more »

Apathetic Man Not Setting Any Resolutions This Year To Avoid Disappointment

Apathetic Man Not Setting Any Resolutions This Year To Avoid Disappointment

A lethargic and dispassionate 26 year old Galway man has decided to not bother setting any New Year’s resolutions, so that he can successfully avoid any setbacks or disappointments in… Read more »

Hungover Woman Puts Off New Year’s Health Plans Until Tomorrow

Hungover Woman Puts Off New Year’s Health Plans Until Tomorrow

A 30 year old woman, Rebecca Quinn, from Portmarknock, North Dublin, who claimed recently that 2014 would be her year, has decided to put off making any positive life changes,… Read more »

Shy, Insecure Orphan Boy Completely Forgotten About By Santa

Shy, Insecure Orphan Boy Completely Forgotten About By Santa

Sources are confirming that a sad insecure and timid Orphan boy in Longford, who many speculate has no friends or anyone in his life who cares about him, has been… Read more »

India Prove Time Travel Possible After Banning Homosexuality

India Prove Time Travel Possible After Banning Homosexuality

The international scientific community has just witnessed one of the greatest discoveries of all time, after India proved that travelling back in time is actually possible. Authorities in Indian made the mind-blowing… Read more »

Man Trapped In Bathroom Without Any Toilet Paper

Man Trapped In Bathroom Without Any Toilet Paper

News is emerging today that a recently employed graduate is stranded in his office toilets, after he realised half way through doing his business, that there was no toilet paper… Read more »

Study Finds 96% Of Irish Fashion Bloggers Have Horrific Sense Of Style

Study Finds 96% Of Irish Fashion Bloggers Have Horrific Sense Of Style

A worrying study published today shows that Ireland has some of the worst dressed fashion bloggers in all of Europe.  Despite the fact that there has been a huge surge… Read more »

POLL: Do You Nap Too Much?

POLL: Do You Nap Too Much?

Although many people claim that they are only recreational nappers, many experts are arguing that Ireland has a severe problem with napping that needs to be addressed. It is reported… Read more »

People Warned About Excessive Napping This Bank Holiday Sunday

People Warned About Excessive Napping This Bank Holiday Sunday

The Society of Safe Napping Ireland (SSNI) is urging people around the country to be extra responsible this weekend when they engage in afternoon and/or evening naps. They claim that… Read more »

Spiders Call For Action After Recent Spate Of Fatal Attacks

Spiders Call For Action After Recent Spate Of Fatal Attacks

The Irish Spider Association (ISA) is calling on the government to implement proper legislation to help protect the Irish spider population from being persecuted by screaming Irish women. The screaming… Read more »

Dumb Parents Excited About Exploiting Their Children At Beauty Pageant

Dumb Parents Excited About Exploiting Their Children At Beauty Pageant

Ireland’s dumbest parents are all expected to converge in Balbriggan this weekend for the Universal Royalty Beauty Pageant – a competition that will see children as young as one year old… Read more »

Clinically-Depressed Teacher Agrees Teaching is “Easy Career”

Clinically-Depressed Teacher Agrees Teaching is “Easy Career”

As the Friday workday draws to a close, Barry Lyons knows what awaits him when he meets his friends for their usual end-of-week pints. As a teacher of Irish and Geography in… Read more »

Woman Tips Herself After Eating At Nandos

Woman Tips Herself After Eating At Nandos

A 24 year old woman from Dundrum last night decided that it made far more sense to leave a tip for herself after eating at Nandos, since she did the… Read more »

Life Coach Still Hasn’t Achieved Anything Outstanding

Life Coach Still Hasn’t Achieved Anything Outstanding

45 year old Life Coach Deidre O’Keefe still hasn’t achieved anything outstanding in her life and is beginning to wonder if she ever will. Deirdre has been training and coaching… Read more »

Hungover Woman Getting Ready To Ruin Healthy Diet

Hungover Woman Getting Ready To Ruin Healthy Diet

A 23 year old hungover woman from Clonsilla in North Dublin is preparing to ruin the healthy diet she was as she chooses which fast food outlet she is going… Read more »

Father And Son Found 30 Years After Fleeing Linda Martin Concert

Father And Son Found 30 Years After Fleeing Linda Martin Concert

Co. Clare authorities today are trying to reintegrate a father and son back into society after they allegedly fled a Linda Martin concert three decades ago to live deep in… Read more »

Woman Completely Ignores Loud Fart She Did In Yoga Class

Woman Completely Ignores Loud Fart She Did In Yoga Class

34 year old mother of 2, Karen Dempsey last night completely ignored the incredibly loud fart she let slip out during her Postnatal Yoga class.  The accidental release happened while… Read more »

Poll: Should Women Weigh Their Bags Before They Go To The Airport?

Poll: Should Women Weigh Their Bags Before They Go To The Airport?

In a recent study carried out by the Dublin Airport Authority (DAA), it was discovered that a large amount of women didn’t bother to check the weight of their bags… Read more »

Siesta Now Compulsory In Irish Workday

Siesta Now Compulsory In Irish Workday

Siestas will now become a compulsory part of the Irish workday as the heatwave continues to keep temperatures at record levels. From tomorrow onwards, employers will be legally required to… Read more »

Sarah Carey’s Top 5 Ways To Deal With Being Groped

Sarah Carey’s Top 5 Ways To Deal With Being Groped

Sarah Carey speaks exclusively to The Potato about the best ways for dealing with groping. Here she gives us her top 5 ways to deal with the inappropriate behaviour from men so… Read more »

3 Top Tips To Protect Your Moobs – National Moob Safety Week

3 Top Tips To Protect Your Moobs – National Moob Safety Week

Today marks the launch of the first ever, annual Moob Safety Week here in Ireland. Launched by the Moob Appreciation Network (MAN), it aims to raise awareness of the problem… Read more »

Dublin Zoo Opens New Habitat For Internet Trolls

Dublin Zoo Opens New Habitat For Internet Trolls

Dublin Zoo, together with TheJournal.ie are opening a new habitat to showcase the Irish species of Internet trolls. TheJournal.ie is home to largest private collection of Internet trolls in Ireland… Read more »

Man Left Critical After Pollen Overdose

Man Left Critical After Pollen Overdose

A 21 year old man from East Wall in Dublin’s inner city has been left in a critical condition after overdosing on a large quantity of pollen. Earlier in the… Read more »

Man Wishes He Was Unemployed This Week

Man Wishes He Was Unemployed This Week

29 year old Simon Campbell has today revealed that he wishes he was unemployed so that he could actually get a chance to enjoy the freak heat wave, instead of… Read more »

Youth Defence Tupperware Party Attracts 167 Million People

Youth Defence Tupperware Party Attracts 167 Million People

A Tupperware party that was held in the home of recently widowed Maureen Dooley has attracted a record crowd of 167 million people. Her previous record was four, which she… Read more »

Karma Announces 100 New Jobs for Youth Defence Project

Karma Announces 100 New Jobs for Youth Defence Project

Karma has today announced that it will be expanding it’s operations in Dublin over the next few months, as it has landed a large scale project in dealing with Pro… Read more »

Katie Hopkins Claims Hitler Was Evil Because Of His Name

Katie Hopkins Claims Hitler Was Evil Because Of His Name

Katie Hopkins has today come out and claimed that Adolf Hitler behaved in such an evil way because of how he was named as a child.  She claims that this… Read more »

Dangerous Batch Of Pollen Hits Irish Streets

Dangerous Batch Of Pollen Hits Irish Streets

Gardaí are warning of a dangerous batch of pollen that has recently been made widely available on the streets of Ireland. The strain is said to be particularly potent and… Read more »

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