The Potato http://www.thepotato.ie Mashing The News Online Since 1962 Thu, 17 Jul 2014 14:21:41 +0000 en-US hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=4.1.5 http://www.thepotato.ie/feed/podcast Mashing The News Online Since 1962 The Potato no The Potato spud@thepotato.ie spud@thepotato.ie (The Potato) Mashing The News Online Since 1962 comedy, stand up, satire, entertainment, news, current affairs, funny, The Potato http://www.thepotato.ie/wp-content/uploads/2012/12/potato-fb-profile-02.jpg http://www.thepotato.ie Study: Israelis Have Forgotten Most Of Their 10 Commandments http://www.thepotato.ie/2014/07/study-israelis-forgotten-10-commandments/ http://www.thepotato.ie/2014/07/study-israelis-forgotten-10-commandments/#comments Thu, 17 Jul 2014 14:21:41 +0000 http://www.thepotato.ie/?p=9053 As the increased military strikes from Israel continue on the West Bank and Gaza Strip, a new study has definitively shown that the Jewish state has in fact forgotten a large part... Read more »

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As the increased military strikes from Israel continue on the West Bank and Gaza Strip, a new study has definitively shown that the Jewish state has in fact forgotten a large part of what their religion is based on.

By Cormac Moore

The study looked at a core part of the Jewish religion, The 10 Commandments, which were inscribed by God on stone tablets, so that they couldn’t be changed and would last a very, very long time.

The rules set down by God are fairly clear and  forbid things like murder, stealing other people’s property, desiring your neighbors goods and not bearing false witness to your neighbor. 

Even though these fundamental rules of the Jewish faith are easy enough to remember, it appears that over time, the ability for the Israelis to recall these has diminished significantly.

Calculations

Israel has stolen more than 80% of the land in Palestine, murdered countless woman and children, eradicated hundreds of towns and wants the small amounts of land left that belong to the Palestinians – The Gaza Strip and West Bank.

They have often committed these acts on a Sunday too, meaning they are failing to keep Sabbath the Holy Day.

After careful calculation of all the data, it appears that the Israelis have forgotten at least 50% of their commandments, which would more than likely dishonor their parents, bringing that figure up to 60%.

Recommendations

The newly published study, recommends that the Israeli state takes a few minutes to re-read the 10 commandments and try to apply them to every day life in the Palestinian region.

The report points out that you cannot set up a Jewish state, without building that state on your very own principles. Otherwise it really doesn’t make any sense. 

God The Father, the author of The 10 Commandments was asked for a comment on the issue of Israelis forgetting his rules, but he has yet to return our prayers.

 

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Dangerous Seagulls Main Importer Of Heroin In Ireland http://www.thepotato.ie/2014/07/seagulls-main-importer-heroin-ireland/ http://www.thepotato.ie/2014/07/seagulls-main-importer-heroin-ireland/#comments Thu, 17 Jul 2014 13:39:45 +0000 http://www.thepotato.ie/?p=9049 An investigation involving the Gardaí, Interpol and the Revenue Commissioners, has discovered that a criminal gang of Seagulls, tormenting people in Dublin, are in fact the largest importers of heroin into Ireland.... Read more »

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An investigation involving the Gardaí, Interpol and the Revenue Commissioners, has discovered that a criminal gang of Seagulls, tormenting people in Dublin, are in fact the largest importers of heroin into Ireland.

By Cormac Moore

The organised gang of Seagulls began causing social problems over the last number of days, as they taunted, intimidated and physically abused members of the public.

They stole a lollypop from a minor and then proceeded to take a dump on a city centre commuter, who didn’t realise what happened to her until someone laughed at them in the office.

Their actions were reported to local gardaí, but it has since been revealed that the dangerous anti-social birds have been the centre of an international investigation of the trafficking of the class A drug.

A source close to the investigation told The Potato:

“There’s very little the gardaí can do – there’s currently no laws allowing birds to be persecuted for importing illegal substances. This gang of seagulls is laughing in the face of Irish law and causing havoc as they do.”

Logistics

The seagulls don’t have logistical problems like other criminal gangs, in that they can fly in and out of the country as they please, completely unnoticed and free of any searches by customs.

They’re under-cutting other inner city crime syndicates and flooding the streets with huge amounts of the devastating drug, making a tidy profit in the mean time. One of the main seagulls is said to have a number of seaside properties, here and along the Mediterranean.

The issue is so serious, that Paul Williams is in the process of making a documentary for 3E, entitled, “Heroin Seagulls – Flying High”, which will air this Sunday and use dark music and blurred out seagull faces to scare you into never going outside again.

Anyone with any information on the drug trafficking birds are asked to contact the Garda Confidential line on 1800-666-111.

Read: TRAGIC: Dublin Man’s Holiday Ruined After He Forgets Tricolour

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TRAGIC: Dublin Man’s Holiday Ruined After He Forgets Tricolour http://www.thepotato.ie/2014/07/dublin-mans-holiday-ruined-forgets-tricolour/ http://www.thepotato.ie/2014/07/dublin-mans-holiday-ruined-forgets-tricolour/#comments Wed, 16 Jul 2014 14:07:00 +0000 http://www.thepotato.ie/?p=9045 Tragic news is coming out of Majorca today, as reports confirm that a Dublin man’s holiday has been ruined, after he left his tricolour at home in Dublin.  By Cormac... Read more »

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irish flag

Tragic news is coming out of Majorca today, as reports confirm that a Dublin man’s holiday has been ruined, after he left his tricolour at home in Dublin. 

By Cormac Moore

Graham Byrne, the 26 year old from Malahide, was travelling with a large group of friends to Santa Ponza for 2 weeks. The grim discovery was made just after he connected his iPod to a shitty pair of speakers and began listening to his Maura Picoto playlist. 

He then went to hang his Irish flag off his balcony, but sadly discovered he left it at home.

His family have been notified of the horrific incident, but say there’s nothing they can do to get the flag to him on time.

Sources close to the man have said:

“He’s really shook up over the whole ordeal. I mean, he loves going on holidays and pretending to be a mad IRA head. He was learning the words to a load of Wolfe Tones songs on the way here and was getting excited about screaming ‘800 Years!‘ in an English family’s face that were staying here. I just don’t know how he’s going to cope.”

Awareness

Some reports suggest he may get himself a henna tattoo of a Celtic cross directly underneath his Manchester United tattoo on his chest, or even attempt to stitch several of his t-shirts together to try and fashion a tricolour out of them himself.

Friends are the man are attempting to comfort him and they have just launched a Tricolour Awareness Campaign, to help other young Irish people remember to bring their flags with them on holidays.

Read: Woman Breaks Her Own Neck Tilting Head Sideways For Photo

 

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Woman Breaks Her Own Neck Tilting Head Sideways For Photo http://www.thepotato.ie/2014/07/woman-breaks-neck-titling-head-sideways-photo/ http://www.thepotato.ie/2014/07/woman-breaks-neck-titling-head-sideways-photo/#comments Tue, 15 Jul 2014 16:01:29 +0000 http://www.thepotato.ie/?p=9036 A 23 year old woman from Clonskeagh, Dublin,  left herself paralysed after breaking her own neck while trying to pose for a photo in a nightclub over the weekend. By... Read more »

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A 23 year old woman from Clonskeagh, Dublin,  left herself paralysed after breaking her own neck while trying to pose for a photo in a nightclub over the weekend.

By Cormac Moore

The serious incident happened as the young woman titled her head over, thinking it would make her look like she was having a better time than if she was just standing up straight.

The sudden jerk of the head tilt, combined with the heavy weight of her hair extensions, cracked several vertebrae and left the woman paralysed.

Examination

Doctors examining her Facebook profile, discovered a trend of head titling in her photos and claim that the repeated and extreme head titling in pictures not only looked “fucking ridiculous”, but also played a part in weakening the spinal chord, leading to the injury.

An alarming number of young women on night’s out are reportedly engaging in the new dangerous social media fad of tilting their heads into ridiculous positions, to make it seem like they’re having a great time with their besties in a bathroom.

High heels and slippery tiled floors also increase the risk that these young women will wind up in a wheelchair for the rest of their lives and medical professionals are urging women to stop engaging in the “Head Tilt” craze that is putting their lives at risk.

Head tilting has also been linked to distorted postures and can cause women to wind up walking in circles for hours on end.

EXCLUSIVE: Cheryl Cole Announces Divorce From French Husband

 

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EXCLUSIVE: Cheryl Cole Announces Divorce From French Husband http://www.thepotato.ie/2014/07/exclusive-cheryl-cole-announces-divorce-french-husband/ http://www.thepotato.ie/2014/07/exclusive-cheryl-cole-announces-divorce-french-husband/#comments Tue, 15 Jul 2014 13:50:40 +0000 http://www.thepotato.ie/?p=9033 It lasted a total of 8 days, but reports are now confirming that Cheryl Cole has split from her French impulse husband Jean-Bernard Fernandez-Versini, whom she married after just 12... Read more »

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It lasted a total of 8 days, but reports are now confirming that Cheryl Cole has split from her French impulse husband Jean-Bernard Fernandez-Versini, whom she married after just 12 weeks of chatting on WhatsApp. 

By Cormac Moore

The couple married in a secret ceremony on the 7th of July, but it all fell apart when they discovered that neither of them actually knew anything about the other. 

A close friend of Fernandez-Versini said:

It was a really quick decision that he now regrets – he had no idea her surname for years was that of an ex boyfriends, which he thought was just fucking weird, and he had no idea she got the world’s most horrific tattoo on her arse. It was never going to work, he doesn’t even speak English and all she can say in French is, “Where is the bible disco?”

Problems

It also later emerged that Jean-Bernard pees with the door open, makes a large amount of noise while he eats and isn’t a little bit of a racist, something that wouldn’t work long term with the X Factor Judge.

Their relationship hadn’t even moved onto Facebook before the pair thought it a was a good idea to marry. They hadn’t even poked each other before tying the knot.

Cheryl is expected to move on now, change her name yet again and announce a new album, which will be as successful as this latest marriage.

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BREAKING: Copper Face Jacks Agrees To Hold All 5 Garth Brooks Concerts http://www.thepotato.ie/2014/07/breaking-copper-face-jacks-agrees-hold-5-garth-brooks-concerts/ http://www.thepotato.ie/2014/07/breaking-copper-face-jacks-agrees-hold-5-garth-brooks-concerts/#comments Sun, 13 Jul 2014 12:14:38 +0000 http://www.thepotato.ie/?p=9027 Great news for distraught Garth Brooks fans, as it has been revealed that Copper Face Jacks have agreed terms with Aiken Promotions and the country singer, to hold all 5... Read more »

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Great news for distraught Garth Brooks fans, as it has been revealed that Copper Face Jacks have agreed terms with Aiken Promotions and the country singer, to hold all 5 of his concerts in the club, on one single night. 

By Cormac Moore

The crisis had escalated since the decision to grant only 3 of the 5 nights was made by Dublin City Council. Riots broke out as Pro Garth Rebels clashed with the CPRA, leaving 3 dead and many more injured.

However it appears now that the city can begin to move on, as the popular Dublin nightclub has agreed to host the concerts for the 400,000 fans.

Copper Face Jacks has long been a solution to many of life’s problems and in a statement released they said:

“We’re delighted to be able to have Garth perform to his 400,000 fans in our iconic Dublin club. Copper Face Jacks is the perfect mix of GAA, cheesy country music and copious amounts of alcohol, everything these heartbroken tickets holders want.”

Heath and Safety

Current health and safety regulations show that Coppers currently has a capacity of 420,000 (the queue outside can accommodate 80,000), meaning that only those tickets holders will be permitted entry on the night.

Commenting about the decision, Brooks said, via his website:

“I’m so grateful that this mess has finally be sorted out. I can’t wait to play for Ireland and I’m really looking forward to discovering what fingering is.”

The concert will now take place on July 25th in Coppers and all those with tickets for any date will be granted entry.

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Coláiste Lurgan Sign Exciting New Movie Deal! http://www.thepotato.ie/2014/07/colaiste-lurgan-sign-exciting-new-movie-deal/ http://www.thepotato.ie/2014/07/colaiste-lurgan-sign-exciting-new-movie-deal/#comments Thu, 10 Jul 2014 14:55:14 +0000 http://www.thepotato.ie/?p=9023 It has been revealed today that Coláiste Lurgan, have agreed terms to shoot a feature length movie in the Irish college. By Cormac Moore The Irish musical movie will follow the... Read more »

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colaiste-lurgan-movie

It has been revealed today that Coláiste Lurgan, have agreed terms to shoot a feature length movie in the Irish college.

By Cormac Moore

The Irish musical movie will follow the students of the college as they explore their lives, friendships and sexuality in the wilderness of the gaeltacht.

Loosely based around the Glee movie plot, the main character Seamus Mac An Shinty will have to navigate a life between GAA training, a passion for music and an over bearing father figure with heavy ties to the IRA.

Controversy

Couple that with a complicated homosexual relationship and the scene is set for one of the most powerful, emotional and provocative Irish movies of modern times.

Coláiste Lurgan refused to comment about the movie deal, as we made the fatal mistake of asking about the movie in English.

The movie is set to bring a massive financial boost to the region and rumours are circulating that cameo appearances from Niall Horan, Colin Farrell and Solangé are all on the cards.

Filming will start this summer and the movie will be released worldwide early in 2015.

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Alarming Number of Stoners Developing MS Symptoms http://www.thepotato.ie/2014/07/alarming-number-stoners-developing-ms-symptoms/ http://www.thepotato.ie/2014/07/alarming-number-stoners-developing-ms-symptoms/#comments Thu, 10 Jul 2014 13:13:07 +0000 http://www.thepotato.ie/?p=9020 As news that Junior Health Minister Alex White is to sign off on legislation to allow medical marijuana for MS sufferers, an alarming number of stoners have reportedly developed symptoms... Read more »

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As news that Junior Health Minister Alex White is to sign off on legislation to allow medical marijuana for MS sufferers, an alarming number of stoners have reportedly developed symptoms of the disease. 

By Cormac Moore

Less than 6 minutes after the announcement was heard in the Oireacthas Health Committee meeting this morning, thousands of recreational users of the substance here in Ireland were googling the symptoms of the autoimmune disorder.

Reports claim that many have already presented themselves to their local GPs, claiming to have the disease and demanding large amounts of weed.

Many more are expected to do the same later this evening, when the majority of them wake up and put some pants on.

One stoner reportedly claimed that the skin ulcers on his arse were down to contracting aggressive Multiple Sclerosis, however his doctor informed him that they were just bed sores and he should try and get out more and work on overcoming his Coco Pops dependency.

Many in Ireland support the legalisation of marijuana and claim it will bring much needed revenue and employment to the country. And fits of laughter, which is much needed in a time of unprecedented seriousness.

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Gay Community Support Emergency Garth Brooks Legislation http://www.thepotato.ie/2014/07/gay-community-support-emergency-garth-brooks-legislation/ http://www.thepotato.ie/2014/07/gay-community-support-emergency-garth-brooks-legislation/#comments Thu, 10 Jul 2014 12:38:43 +0000 http://www.thepotato.ie/?p=9015 The Gay community in Ireland has today come out in support of emergency Garth Brooks legislation being rushed through the Dáil, so that concert promoters can break the prior agreement they... Read more »

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The Gay community in Ireland has today come out in support of emergency Garth Brooks legislation being rushed through the Dáil, so that concert promoters can break the prior agreement they signed with Croke Park Residents to only hold 3 music events per year.

By Cormac Moore

They claim that smaller, more trivial issues like marriage equality needs to take a back seat, while life changing events like country music concerts take priority.

One spokesperson for the LGBT said:

This issue is a defining moment of our society and of our history. How we treat a rich country musician will be define who were are moving into the future. 

Struggling mortgage holders have also thrown their weight behind the emergency legislation and say it’s of huge importance to the stability of our society and economy.

One homeowner in negative equity said:

It would be nice to get to go to a Garth Brooks concert – it would take the mind off the fact that our family is being made homeless and the only fire will be standing outside will be the one will have to start in a bin so that we all don’t freeze to death.

Read: Pope Francis To Meet Victims of Garth Brooks Tragedy

Cocaine

The controversy around the concerts arose when Dublin City Council remembered that they signed an agreement with Croke Park to only ever hold 3 concerts per year.

The agreement was lost under a huge pile of money and cocaine at the council’s office and after a 5 day binge of ticket selling, officials developed a severe case of the fear after realizing what they had done.

Since the cancellations of all the concerts, the country has been in mouring and will continue to for sometime.

All hope for a solution to the issues has been lost however, since Enda Kenny offered to step in.

Read: 3 Dead As Pro And Anti Garth Brooks Factions Clash

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Brazil Blame Controller Settings For Germany Defeat http://www.thepotato.ie/2014/07/brazil-blame-controller-settings-germany-defeat/ http://www.thepotato.ie/2014/07/brazil-blame-controller-settings-germany-defeat/#comments Wed, 09 Jul 2014 13:46:40 +0000 http://www.thepotato.ie/?p=9010 Brazil have issued a statement outlining that it was unfamiliar controller settings that was the main reason behind last night’s humiliating 7-1 defeat to Germany.  By Cormac Moore Brazil manager Luiz... Read more »

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World cup semi final defeat to Germany

Brazil have issued a statement outlining that it was unfamiliar controller settings that was the main reason behind last night’s humiliating 7-1 defeat to Germany. 

By Cormac Moore

Brazil manager Luiz Felipe Scolari, better known to many as Gene Hackman, said that neither he nor his backroom staff were given enough time before the match to check and alter the buttons and controls for last night’s game.

Brazil and Germany both started last night’s proceedings on the “Classical” settings, however it became very apparent that the South American side were not used to playing the tournament that way.

brazil-7-1-germany

Coaching staff from Brazil have come out in protest of the “Classical” settings, commenting that Brazil have also operated under a “Custom A” approach, there certain key attacking and defending commands are on completely different buttons.

They blame the non existent defending from Brazil last night, down to confusion over whether it was the “X” or “B” button that was to be used. The “Change Player” and “Sprint” commands were also lost on the Brazilian team, resulting in the shocking defeat.

FIFA Rules

According to FIFA 14 rules, Brazil must now refer to Germany as their “Lord” and bring them beer on demand. A fitting request for the Germans with a history of tyrannical devotion and a entire month dedicated to their love of booze.

Lose By 6: You must refer to your opponent as ‘My Lord’ for the rest of the night and get them a beer on request.”

If Brazil had not of scored a final consolation goal, they would have been forced to set u a Facebook group called “Brazil Are Shit At FIFA” and invite all their friends.

Next: Pope Francis To Meet With Victims of Garth Brooks Tragedy

Read: 3 Dead As Pro And Anti Garth Brooks Factions Clash

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Pope Francis To Meet With Victims of Garth Brooks Tragedy http://www.thepotato.ie/2014/07/pope-francis-meet-victims-garth-brooks-tragedy/ http://www.thepotato.ie/2014/07/pope-francis-meet-victims-garth-brooks-tragedy/#comments Tue, 08 Jul 2014 19:18:11 +0000 http://www.thepotato.ie/?p=9003 Pope Francis has spoken out over the controversial cancellation of the Garth Brooks concerts and has agreed to meet those victims who have been affected by the recent tragedy.  By... Read more »

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garth-brooks-cancelled

Pope Francis has spoken out over the controversial cancellation of the Garth Brooks concerts and has agreed to meet those victims who have been affected by the recent tragedy. 

By Cormac Moore

Up until now the church’s stance on the issue had not been known or made clear. Many ticket holders had criticized the church for not doing more sooner to support the victims and say that this move by Pope Francis is too little too late.

In a statement released The Vatican Press office said:

“Today, the 8th of July 2014, His Holiness Pope Francis has offered his deepest condolences and his blessings to those affected by the cancellations of the Garth Brooks concerts in Ireland. His Holiness is offering to meet the victims directly, to help them find peace with the issue and begin to make amends.” 

The Pope is keen on meeting all those who were affected and will be holding a mass, over 5 days in Croke Park, beginning on Friday July 25th, as the date has recently become available.

There should be no legal challenges from local residents, as the huge event will in fact be billed as a mass and not a concert, hence not breaching any prior agreements.

It is also been confirmed that the musical hymns at the mass will in fact be provided by Garth Brooks himself, as he wishes to apologies directly for the disastrous situation and as it is a religious ceremony, he won’t have to pay tax on any of his earnings.

More details as we get them.

Breaking: Copper Face Jacks Agrees To Hold All 5 Garth Brooks Concerts

Read: 3 Dead As Pro And Anti Garth Brooks Factions Clash

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Teaser: Tits Blind | A New Dark Crime Drama With A Strong Female Lead http://www.thepotato.ie/2014/07/tits-blind-tara-flynn/ http://www.thepotato.ie/2014/07/tits-blind-tara-flynn/#comments Tue, 08 Jul 2014 01:04:37 +0000 http://www.thepotato.ie/?p=8998 Here’s a sneak peak at Tits Blind, an up and coming dark crime drama with a strong female lead character.  H/T Tara Flynn

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Tara Flynn Comedian Tits Blind

Here’s a sneak peak at Tits Blind, an up and coming dark crime drama with a strong female lead character. 

H/T Tara Flynn

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3 Dead As Pro And Anti Garth Brooks Factions Clash http://www.thepotato.ie/2014/07/garth-brooks-concerts-violence/ http://www.thepotato.ie/2014/07/garth-brooks-concerts-violence/#comments Sun, 06 Jul 2014 19:22:58 +0000 http://www.thepotato.ie/?p=8995 Violence has broken out in Dublin this evening leaving 3 dead, as Pro Garth Rebels clashed with local Croke Park residents. Thousands of Garth Brooks fans held an overnight vigil... Read more »

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Garth Brooks Concerts Dublin Cancelled

Violence has broken out in Dublin this evening leaving 3 dead, as Pro Garth Rebels clashed with local Croke Park residents.

Thousands of Garth Brooks fans held an overnight vigil outside Croke Park, protesting over Dublin City Council’s decision to only grant 3 licenses out of the 5. They claim the controversial decision has displaced more than 160,000 people.

However, the protest turned ugly, when a number of extremists began firing into the crowds with semi automatic weapons.

The Croke Park Residents Association (CPRA) has claimed responsibility for the attack and has released footage of them burning a picture of Garth Brooks in the streets.

The CPRA has links with terrorists organisations and is believed to be funded and reviewing arms from middle eastern militant groups, who are hell bent on preventing Garth Brooks from performing anywhere in the world.

Deaths

3 have been confirmed dead, all of them pensioners over the age of 60, 2 of them wearing cowboy hats and the third in a cheap pair of chaps.

Many more have been seriously injured and some reports from the region are suggesting that even more have been killed in the violent clashes.

Pro Garth rebels had been heard chanting “Allahu Garthbar” before the incident, which translates to mean, “God is Garth”.

Fears are growing that the escalating violence between the 2 groups could translate into a full blown civil war. The international community is calling for a peaceful resolution to the crisis and the United Nations has offered to send in Peace Keeping forces to help control the dangerous situation.

More updates as we get them.

 

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Pro Garth Vigil To Be Held In Dublin Tonight http://www.thepotato.ie/2014/07/pro-garth-vigil-held-dublin-tonight/ http://www.thepotato.ie/2014/07/pro-garth-vigil-held-dublin-tonight/#comments Sat, 05 Jul 2014 13:13:15 +0000 http://www.thepotato.ie/?p=8988 Tens of thousands of Pro Garth campaigners are expected to descend onto Merrion Square this evening, for a candlelight vigil protesting over Dublin City Council’s recent decision to only grant... Read more »

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garth-brooks-dublin-cancelled

Tens of thousands of Pro Garth campaigners are expected to descend onto Merrion Square this evening, for a candlelight vigil protesting over Dublin City Council’s recent decision to only grant licenses for 3 of the country music singer’s concerts at Croke Park.

By Cormac Moore

The organisers of the campaign say that people who made the difficult decision to purchase tickets some months ago have been the subject of ridicule and shame for liking such an average country musician.

And now to make that worse, they claim the government are adding to that stigma, by refusing to allow over 160,000 people to see him.

The Pro Garth campaigners say that people should be free to make the choice whether or not they attend a concert, and that it doesn’t affect anyone else whether they enjoy the country artist or not.

A spokesperson for the Pro Garth campaign said:

“This is a horrific decision by the council and one that will force many Garth Brooks fans abroad to get the music experience they need. People here should be free to pursue whatever music events they like, without the interference from an official government body.”

Over 40,000 people are expected to attend tonight’s vigil to try and raise awareness and place pressure on the council to reverse their decision.

It is also rumored that the group are receiving funds from the United States to help bring thousands of Garth Brooks fans from all over Ireland to and from tonight’s event.

The vigil will begin at 9pm and traffic disruptions can be expected.

 

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Boko Haram Claim Responsibility For Jay Z Attack http://www.thepotato.ie/2014/05/boko-haram-claim-responsibility-jay-z-attack/ http://www.thepotato.ie/2014/05/boko-haram-claim-responsibility-jay-z-attack/#comments Mon, 12 May 2014 18:00:23 +0000 http://www.thepotato.ie/?p=8981 Nigerian militant group, Boko Haram, who recently kidnapped over 200 school girls to sell them into slavery, have claimed responsibility for the latest attack on Jay Z. By Cormac Moore... Read more »

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Nigerian militant group, Boko Haram, who recently kidnapped over 200 school girls to sell them into slavery, have claimed responsibility for the latest attack on Jay Z.

By Cormac Moore

The latest attack by the Islamist group was videoed and released online. It shows Jay Z getting brutally beaten in a lift in a hotel by a women, or “bitch” as he would call them.

The video, which has since gone viral, also shows the public interest in the kidnapped young, helpless girls, disappearing quickly. It is believed that the girls will be completed forgotten about by the end of the week.

Although the kidnapping of the young defenseless girls, who will be sold into all forms of slavery, is more important than a celebrity scuffle, most people are presuming the girls are safe and well, since some high profile entertainers, TV personalities and political figures, posted a shitty hashtag online. 

 

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DJ Diaries Episode 1 : The Joys Of http://www.thepotato.ie/2014/05/dj-diaries-episode-1-joys/ http://www.thepotato.ie/2014/05/dj-diaries-episode-1-joys/#comments Fri, 09 May 2014 13:47:27 +0000 http://www.thepotato.ie/?p=8976 A powerful documentary, commissioned by the Irish Disk Jockeys Association has been released this week. The aim behind the eye opening film, is to highlight and raise awareness of the... Read more »

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A powerful documentary, commissioned by the Irish Disk Jockeys Association has been released this week.

The aim behind the eye opening film, is to highlight and raise awareness of the weekly plights that many DJs around the country are faced with.

At a time when the worlds top DJ are earning tens of millions per year, those who aim to follow in their footsteps are not so fortunate and often playing to Pitt Bull demanding drunken gobshites.

DJ Diaries is a real, unaltered version of the world of DJing in Ireland.

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Luas Tannoy In Real Life – Foil Arms and Hog http://www.thepotato.ie/2014/05/luas-tannoy-real-life-foil-arms-hog/ http://www.thepotato.ie/2014/05/luas-tannoy-real-life-foil-arms-hog/#comments Fri, 09 May 2014 13:27:17 +0000 http://www.thepotato.ie/?p=8974 Foil Arms and Hog reveal some of the internal frustrations of life working for the Dublin transport service. The only usual stories to hit the media, are of violent dangers... Read more »

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Foil arms and hog

Foil Arms and Hog reveal some of the internal frustrations of life working for the Dublin transport service.

The only usual stories to hit the media, are of violent dangers encounters with scrotes on the Red Line, but now, in this eye opening feature, the struggles behind the scene finally come to life.

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Starving African Kids Thankful For Irish Finishing Their Dinner http://www.thepotato.ie/2014/05/starving-african-kids-thankful-irish-finishing-dinner/ http://www.thepotato.ie/2014/05/starving-african-kids-thankful-irish-finishing-dinner/#comments Tue, 06 May 2014 13:40:59 +0000 http://www.thepotato.ie/?p=8969 A group of starving African children have expressed their gratitude towards the Irish, for their tireless efforts at force feeding themselves food they don’t want, in order to clean their... Read more »

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A group of starving African children have expressed their gratitude towards the Irish, for their tireless efforts at force feeding themselves food they don’t want, in order to clean their plates in their honor. 

By Cormac Moore

Ireland has a long held tradition of citing “starving kids in Africa” as a just reason for ensuring that you clean your plate.

It is seen as a sign of respect, even though eating more than you need drives global demand for food up, uses up crops that could feed the poor and is rather insulting to those who have haven’t eaten in months.

Eating less would appear to be more logical as it would help reduce demand for food in first world countries and would allow more to be made available for those afflicted with starvation. However, Ireland is sticking with the “Less IS More” and continuing to gorge on a daily basis.

The group of African kids have gotten together to send a message of thanks to the people of Ireland for their great work in helping to fight starvation by eating more and more food.

The children are all aged between 3 and 4 and decided to do it now before they all die from malnutrition, severe dehydration, civil war and AIDS. They wanted to make sure they send their deepest regards for the huge impact the Irish make on their own starving, malnourished lives.

They say that the Irish are one of only a few races that understand their blight, having dealt with their own famine in the 1800s.

An awareness campaign is being held today and all of this week, to remind Irish people, especially parents, to force feed their children food they don’t want or need, in order to help and respect those “starving kids in Africa” who have nothing, but would appreciate even some of the food, no matter how much you don’t like it.

 

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Liverpool Launching New Official Drink To Capitalise On Ability To Bottle Things http://www.thepotato.ie/2014/05/liverpool-launching-new-official-drink-capitalise-ability-bottle-things/ http://www.thepotato.ie/2014/05/liverpool-launching-new-official-drink-capitalise-ability-bottle-things/#comments Mon, 05 May 2014 21:21:25 +0000 http://www.thepotato.ie/?p=8966 It has been confirmed tonight by Liverpool FC that the club is to launch a new range of drinks, to capitalise on their unmatched ability to bottle things. By Cormac... Read more »

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It has been confirmed tonight by Liverpool FC that the club is to launch a new range of drinks, to capitalise on their unmatched ability to bottle things.

By Cormac Moore

It had been considered for years, but has been confirmed after tonight’s pathetic draw against Crystal Palace, where they effectively lost the league in the last 10 minutes of the game, even though they were 3 up against 11th place Palace.

Sources at the club also said that the bottles for the new line of drinks will be 100% recyclable, making it extremely easy to throw away. Club owners wanted a product that reflected the club as much as possible.

Plans are already underway to redevelop Anfield and turn it into a full scale production plant, where the new drinks will be produced. It’s good news for the local economy, as it promises to bring much needed employment to the area. 

Liverpool FC is internationally renowned for it’s talent for bottling it and is hoping to commercialize that and share their bottling craft with the world.

Their first drink, Slip On The Pitch, a bittersweet cocktail of possibilities, broken dreams and disappointments, is likely to be available to consumers this summer.

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Gerry Adams Set To Cover Shaggy’s “It Wasn’t Me” http://www.thepotato.ie/2014/05/gerry-adams-set-cover-shaggys-wasnt/ http://www.thepotato.ie/2014/05/gerry-adams-set-cover-shaggys-wasnt/#comments Thu, 01 May 2014 18:05:21 +0000 http://www.thepotato.ie/?p=8960 It has emerged today that Sinn Féin leader Gerry Adams, current being questioned in relation to the murder of Jean McConville, is to release his own cover of Shaggy’s hit... Read more »

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gerry adams wasnty

It has emerged today that Sinn Féin leader Gerry Adams, current being questioned in relation to the murder of Jean McConville, is to release his own cover of Shaggy’s hit single, “It Wasn’t Me”.

By Cormac Moore

Adams and his party have claimed that the arrest has been politically motivated to disrupt their election campaigns. Adam’s has claimed that he was always open to assisting police and families about the incident and denies the claims.

However, in an unprecedented move, Adams is to cover and release his own version of “It Wasn’t Me”.

The reason for doing so is to “deliver a message in a format that will be  received well by a wide majority of the population”.

A Sinn Féin spokesperson went on to say that the fact that media is heavily saturated in entertainment and celebrity culture, it was the most logical response for the leader of the party, who was “never a member of the IRA”.

All funds raised from the single will go to help Mary Lou McDonald figure out that when someone is arrested, they are in fact a suspect in a criminal investigation. 

There are also rumors of bonus tracks being hidden on the single, but neither Adams nor Sinn Féin will comment on the exact locations of those tracks and are unlikely to do so for years.

Gerry Adam’s “It Wasn’t Me” is set to be released this week and will more than likely go on to sell more than Nadia Forde’s latest release, because you have no idea who she is or that she in fact brought out a single.

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